


Six Endings and One Beginning

by Islandic_Princess



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Markhyuck and Chensung are fluffy and a little angst filled, Most of the trigger based tags occur in flash backs, Norenmin are more on the angst side cause I like suffering, Rest of Nct make appearences through out, implied/Referenced Sexual Assault in later chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-06-08 04:30:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 19
Words: 28,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15235371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Islandic_Princess/pseuds/Islandic_Princess
Summary: Seven boys are admitted to a physic hospital. Each with their own stories to tell. They're each others most hated enemy yet their most needed saviors. Can they save each other? Or will their stores abruptly end?I most likely won't be tagging the chapters for trigger warnings since that would require me to tag almost all of them. However if I feel that a warning does need to be issued before a chapter is read then I will. I might make a note in the chapter summary of what happens if it's a major portion of the chapter but like I said don't expect there to be one before hand. The first chapter is really short cause I didn't wanna give away to much info so please forgive me for that but the updates won't be short.⚠️WARNING: STORY WILL CONTAIN SENSITIVE TOPICS. SELF HARM, MENTIONED/ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE, ABUSIVE/TOXIC RELATIONS, CHILD ABUSE, AND BLOOD!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!⚠️





	1. Familiar Faces Without Names

Seven boys sat around a fairly large room tucked away from prying eyes. Some of them were alone while other's didn't understand the meaning of personal space. Each boy had a story to tell with an unknown ending.  

"I  _pled_  guilty but got off with insanity." A seemingly innocent smile that reached his eyes.  

"My attitude is the  _least_  of your worries." Balled fists that led to a fight.

"It's a habit I  _can't_ live without." Tugging at sleeves to cover his arms from prying eyes. 

"I'm  _already_ dead inside. Currently waiting for my body to catch up." An empty laugh that tugged at broken strings.  

"You gonna  _leave_  like everyone else? No? What a shame." Emotionless eyes that held lies.  

"Why don't you let a pretty  _thing_  like me show you a fun time?" Playful wink that leads to a flirtatious smirk. 

"I don't  _need_  anyone. Especially you."  Looking away to avoid eye connect to keep from breaking.

White walls and loud chatter drove them down the rabbit hole after years of being chained down. They ran from reality and from those around them. The night sky and twinkling stars were much more captivating on this side of the bared windows. Seven teens laid sprawled across a grassy field shrouded in hushed amazement. Here's the story of seven boy's who rewrote their stories for a second chance. 


	2. I'm Made of Anger and Malice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renjun sneaks out his bedroom while leaving for school after spending the night running from police and his father.

**_-Renjun's pov-_ **

Renjun knew what he was doing was wrong. Did he care? Absolutely not. The 13 year old loved the high he got from the adrenaline pumping through his veins. A loud yelp was heard as Renjun's fist connected with a boy's nose. A sickeningly sweet smile encompassed his features as blood gushed from the other's now broken nose. The smile didn't faultier when the boy collapsed or when he herd police sirens in the distance. If anything it only made the high more worth it as the sirens grew nearer. Renjun merely laughed as he ran from the scene upon seeing the first of many cop cars arriving. One of the first responding officers chased after him while speaking into his walkie talky. Taking sharp corners and jumping fences had become the equivalent of breathing to him. Months of skipping classes and school couldn't compare to the things he did in his free time. Renjun was well know by the police in this city. Hell they even had his parent's on speed dial which didn't seem to affect the boy in the slightest. Taking his chances Renjun used a fire escape to out run the pursuing officer. Sticking his tongue out he climbed the rest of the way to the roof. Renjun knew the officer had called for back up and he knew he only had mere minutes, if not, only seconds to escape. He took his chances as he booked it for the rooftop entrance. Taking two stairs at a time, he busted through the exit attached to a back alley. Escaping from the officers was always his favorite part. Hearing voices shouting commands allowed Renjun to tell where the officers stationed and where openings in their formations were. Using this information, he made a quick plan as he snuck through the back alley. 

  
Renjun arrived home after sneaking around down town. He stared blankly at the overly luxurious house before him. He hated the life he was forced to lead. Renjun opened the front door, but was only met with shouts from his parent's in the parlor to his right. Shutting the door he rushed to his room in the hopes of avoiding being noticed. Renjun shut and locked his bedroom door before making his way to the bathroom. Turning the water to scolding, he stripped and quickly climbed in. A long sigh passed his lips as his skin felt like it was on fire. Renjun stood with the water streaming down his body as the bathroom filled with steam. 10 minutes passed before he bothered to wash up. Looking at the different shaped and sized marks on his skin caused hatred to fill his body. The longer he stared the worse the anger became to the point of him profusely scrubbing at his skin. Red coated his vision as pain shot up his limbs. Soon he was pulled from his rage as a metallic smell attacked his senses. Renjun lifted his arm towards his face, only to see a semi healed cut had re-opened from scrubbing the skin. Blood ran down his arm as he simply stared unwilling to move. The pain helped to ground him in his reality and reminded him that he could still feel and breath. Of course those feelings and thoughts weren't always warmly welcomed. Hissing as he rinsed his arm under the still scolding water. Shutting the water off Renjun stepped out grabbing a towel before drying off. Wrapping the towel around his waist he left the bathroom. 

  
"Can you two ever shut up?" A low groan left his lips as his parent's yelling had reached the hallway. Renjun grabbed a pair of sweats and a over sized t-shirt before getting dressed. Flopping onto his bed as his ringtone went off. "Why are you calling me?" He rolled onto his back as he placed the phone to his ear,

  
"Can't I make sure my cousin isn't dead or in prison?" The voice on the other line questioned. 

  
"Oh please if either happened you'd be the first to know." 

  
"I mean you aren't wrong Jun." 

  
"Tell me why you're really calling or I'm hanging up."

  
"Okay fine. I heard on the police scanner that some officers were trying to hunt you down again. I checked with the stations around the city and you weren't at any so I wanted to make sure nothing too bad happened to you." The concern in his cousins voice made bile rise in the back of his throat.

  
"Well I'm not dead. Well at least not yet." Renjun stared blankly at his ceiling. "I mean mom and dad are fighting again and I know by the end of the week I'll have new cuts to hide at the next outing." 

  
"Junnie why don't you just leave? Come back to China and live with auntie to get away from them."

  
"Yeah cause they'll let me leave the country. They may not care for me but they do care about their public figure." A deep sigh was heard as glass shattered outside Renjun's door.

  
"What are they fighting about this time?" 

  
"Mom's still having that affair with the head of staff at the hospital. Dad's drinking their money away and spending it on one night stands." 

  
"So the usual. Did you lock the door?"

  
"Locked it and I'm gonna place the desk in front of it once this call is over." 

  
"Okay good. Remember to call when you get ready for school or I'm calling Kun-ge." Renjun could imagine the serious look on his cousins face as he spoke.

  
"Please don't call him. He doesn't need to worry about me anymore now that he's off doing whatever the hell he's doing."

  
"He's head doctor at some hospital about eight hours from you." 

  
"So he finally finished his internship? Huh." 

  
"Yes. I don't wanna leave but Renjun please call tomorrow or else I'm hunting your ass down." 

  
"Don't worry. I won't call but I'll message you." Renjun ended the call as he stood. Plugging his phone in he placed it on the night stand before walking over to his desk. The oak table sat only a few feet from the table as he pushed one end. The table wasn't very heavy as he pushed it in front of the door. Blowing some bangs from his eyes Renjun walked back over to his bed before collapsing for the night. Around three am Renjun was awoken as a clattering filled his room. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes as his mind was still fuzzy from sleep. As the sound grew louder all sleep was drained from the Chinese boy as he recognized the sound. His door knob was being violently shaken. The boys eyes grew three sizes in horror as he get out of bed. Seeing the desk blocking his door didn't do anything to calm his nerves as he knew his father would be waiting for him in the morning. His father my be completely trashed at the moment, but he never failed to latch his fangs into his son the following day if he couldn't the night before. Renjun's heart nearly gave out as his father's fist pounded against the door. Hiding in a back corner of his overly spacious closet was his only comfort on night's like this. He buried his face in his knees as he thought about his life. Renjun's eyes stung as tears begun to well as yelling could be heard. 

  
As the sun was rising for the day Renjun stepped out of his closet. Eye's red and puffy from crying. Changing his clothes for the day, he entered the bathroom. Renjun refused to meet his reflection as he splashed freezing water on his face. The chill helped to wake him up along with easing the puffiness around his eyes. Checking the time, Renjun grabbed his phone and backpack before walking onto his balcony. He knew his mother was up and waiting downstairs. His father would be up soon since he had a meeting in two hours. Climbing onto the railing he used the overgrown tree outside his room to leave. Walking to the drive way he didn't waste any time getting into the car as his driver took him to school. During the drive Renjun sent a text to his cousin in forming him of what had occurred only three hours earlier. Once he arrived he thanked his driver and stepped out. Everyone stepped away from Renjun as he walked towards the entrance. No one would meet his eyes as a smirk tugged at the corners of his lips. 

  
"Some times it was more fun to be feared rather than being scared. After all, I'm made of anger and malice." Renjun spoke to the air around him.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God this chapter is fucking long. My fingers are cramping -sigh- 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Total Word Count: 1463


	3. Five Years Wasn't Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renjun discovers the reality of his situation after five years. Jeno is dragged off kicking and screaming. Jaemin breaks down after facing a familiar figure at the hospital.

_**-Renjun's pov-** _

  Renjun's life wasn't always like this. No he had a happy life with loving parents. When he was a kid his parent's used to take him on trips around China before they moved. They would tell him how much they loved and cherished him. Now a days, all they do is scream insults and berate him. Renjun loved drawing and painting when he was little. At the age of nine his mother used him to gain riches by selling the things he made for her. He hates painting and drawing now. Renjun loved playing hide and seek in his mansion of a home. Running through his mother's gardens and swimming in the pool during summer. Now he want's to burn it to the ground. He loved playing with his cousins and family members till they turned a blind eye to his abusive parents. He despises them except one. His cousin who works for the police force here in Seoul. He tried to protect him at every chance he got. By the time Renjun had turned ten his parent's hated him. His mother started cheating on his father with different suitors every week, sometimes every night. His father blamed him. At the age of eleven his father found a love for gambling which led him to addiction. A few months later his father came home drunk with lipstick stains on his skin and shirt. He threatened to beat his mother. She talked him into taking his anger out on Renjun. He listened and beat Renjun that night for the first time. A week later Renjun had to hid even more bruises from his peers and teachers. Three months later he learned the truth. They didn't want him to begin with. They only wanted a child who could take over his father's company and to show off to the public. They always did enjoy being called the "perfect family." On his twelve birthday Renjun discovered what true pain felt like. Renjun was awoken as his bedroom door was swung open and into the wall. Screaming please for help only fell on deaf ears as his father dragged a knife across his skin. Renjun didn't attend school the next day. At the current age of thirteen Renjun skips classes and on most days school all together. In his third year of middle school, the student body fears him after rumors of him beating kids starts spreading. They aren't rumors anymore. Teacher's have intervened on more than one occasion. The police know him by name and appearance. He doesn't care anymore. 

  
That was five years ago. Renjun's eighteen now. His parent's had agreed to send him to Seoul recovery hospital after he attacked a doctor well getting treated after one of his usual beatings. The hospital is meant to help those like him. He doesn't believe them. None of the patients do. If anything he's only gotten worse. Renjun spends most of his time in his room. A simple 11ft by 12ft room with white walls. A bed is sat in the furthest corner next to the window. His dresser sits adjacent from the bed on the furthest wall. Next to his door is a small desk, only slightly bigger than a school desk. Renjun was pulled from a deep sleep as a sudden weight was pressed onto his lower abdomen. His hands instinctively gripped the the younger boys hips to keep him in place. This action had become second nature after three years. Renjun wasn't in the mood to be woken up extremely early. especially by the attention seeking boy. 

  
"Na Jaemin you know I don't like getting woken up early." A groan sounded from the elder as the boy, Jaemin, wiggled slightly. 

  
"Well I need attention Junnie." Renjun opened his eyes and stared at the boy.

  
"Where's you're play toy?"

  
"Doyoung's doing an exam so baby's busy for the next two hours." Jaemins usual smirk was ever so present as he played with Renjuns shirt. Renjun's grip tightened as realization dawned on him. 

  
"Shit I forgot we had those today." Jaemins smirk only grew.

  
"I saw WinWin helping Taeyong so I'd say you don't have to worry." 

  
"You've got an hour Jaemin." Renjun flipped them as Jaemin gasped.

  
"Baobei being nice?" 

  
"Take it or leave it." 

  
"Who do you take me for?" Jaemin mumbled as he pulled Renjun into a hunger filled kiss.

 ** _  
-1.5 hours later-_**  

  
Renjun stepped into the common room as he waited for WinWin to get him. Jaemin quickly followed suit as eyes were trained on him.

  
"Jungwoo make you sleep in you're room Jae?" The eldest of the bunch questioned as he raised an eyebrow. 

  
"Don't get me started Mark." Renjun shook his head as he took his usual seat near the TV.

  
"Oh please we all know you enjoyed it Junnie~" Jaemin motioned towards his disheveled appearance which consisted of a half buttoned shirt, finger racked hair, and dark purple bruises.

  
"How much do I need to pay Kun to keep you locked in your room." 

  
"About a life times worth of pay checks Huang." Just then Doyoung and Jeno entered the room. 

  
"Too bad I'll never have a job." Renjun just shrugged as a loud pitched squeal filled the room. 

  
"Baby~!" Jaemin was back to being all over Jeno within seconds. 

  
"Hey Jaem." Renjun rolled his eyes at the two. "Renjun wasn't to hard on you was he?" 

  
"He's not a doll Mister Lee." All eyes were now focused on three new comers.

  
"And who the fuck are you three?" Renjun questioned.

  
"Language Mister Huang!" The eldest of the trio looked at the boy with wide eyes. 

  
"Whom the fuck are you three? Better?"     

  
"Jun be nice. They're new."  Doyoung pinched the bridge of his nose. 

  
"Okay and so?" Donghyuck looked unimpressed as he eyed them over. "I've seen better." 

  
"Doctor Kim are you gonna let them speak that way?" A taller boy with blond hair asked in shock. 

  
"You learn to deal with it after a while." Doyoung turned to leave. "Try not to piss any of them off please. We just got Jisung calmed down and Jeno's weekly exam done."Just as the doctor was about to shut the common rooms door he paused. "Oh, and do have fun. After all you'll being living here soon enough newbies." As the doors slammed shut the trio eyed the seven teens. 

  
"I'm Ten. The new nurse working under Doctor Quin." The shortest of the three bowed slightly. 

  
"I'm Yuta and this is Lucas." The eldest pointed towards himself and then the blond as he spoke. "We'll be working with Doctor Moon." 

  
"Welcome to hell." A loud high pitched laugh sounded from the far corner. 

  
"Chenle it's to fucking early for your laugh." Donghyuck hissed as he smothered the other with a pillow. 

  
"Try not to kill him please Hyuck." Mark lazy smacked the boys arm. The youngest of the boys tugged at Renjuns sleeve. 

  
"Hyuck Jisung want's you to leave Chenle alone." 

  
"Do I have to?"

  
"Can I kick your ass?" Donghyuck dropped the pillow onto a nearby chair. Muttering a string of curses as he walked back over to the couch. "Jisungie why don't you and Chenle play a game?" Jisung nodded before scurrying over to the younger Chinese male. The clearing of someones throat drew attention from the current scene playing out. 

  
"Na Jaemin your exam is ready. Mister Lee you can let him go now." A fourth person had entered unbeknownst to the others. 

  
"I don't wanna go." Jaemin suddenly had a death grip on Jenos sleeve.  

  
"Mister Na you need to complete the testing or else you'll have to be sent to your room." The new comer hid a smirk behind an innocent smile. 

  
"NO!" Renjun could tell something wasn't right. It wasn't like the staff to force him to go alone. He ALWAYS had either Renjun or Jeno with him. 

  
"Since when does Jaemin go by himself?" He could tell Jeno was getting irritated. Renjun didn't blame him. 

  
"Just for today." A hand was held towards the duo. "Jaemin." A tone much to serious and cold for someone who should know better.

  
"NO!" The look in Jaemins eyes told Renjun all he needed know. He wasn't thinking when he attacked the staff member. His vision grew red when he heard Jaemins screaming and crying. They should've know better. They really should've. 

  
"Mister Huang!" Unfamiliar arms wrapped around his waist as he was pulled off the staff member. Renjun whipped his head around only to be met with a mop of blond hair. Lucas. 

  
"Let me go!" He struggled to escape. Familiar voices caught his attention. 

  
"You fucking sick bastard!" Jenos voice. 

  
"And what're you going to do about?" A simple laugh. Renjun looked to the two as the older male held Jaemin by the wrist. He didn't seem to notice the blood streaming from his nose. If he did, he didn't care. 

  
"More than enough." Jaemin was panicking and violently shaking. Renjun knew exactly where this was gonna go. Either Jeno was gonna end up killing the guy or Renjun was gonna beat him into a coma. He wasn't sure which one was gonna happen first but he knew one of them would. Renjun elbowed Lucas in the ribs as the blond released him to only fall to his knees in pain. He wasn't thinking straight that was for sure. 

  
"L-let me g-go!" His anger had reached boiling. No one hurt Jaemin and got off  scotch free. Renjun nodded towards Jeno who stepped just far enough so he wasn't blocking the guy. 

  
"Scared?" Renjun wanted to wipe the smirk off his face. 

  
"I've got nothing to be afraid of." Renjun didn't waste a second as he was punching the guy once again. As soon as Jaemin was free he stopped but was soon replaced by a pissed Jeno. Renjun pulled the younger boy as close to him as he could. His grip tightened as blood began pooling around the now unconscious worker. The banging of doors being opened made everything feel like time had slow. Jeno was being pulled off by Johnny as Doyoung tried getting him to talk. Kun came rushing in second and went straight for the body on the floor. Jungwoo and WinWin were by Renjun and Jaemins side in a second. Only when Jaemin was pulled from his arms did he register what was happening. There was screaming. So much screaming. Renjun couldn't hear WinWin. He only saw the blood on his hands and clothes. Blood was everywhere. Jeno was dragged off kicking and screaming. Jaemin was on the floor crying again. 

  
"Five years couldn't save us from ourselves. We only fell deeper down the rabbit hole." Renjuns ears were ringing as he spoke.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My head hurts after this chapter. Fucking hell, no wonder why my wrists and neck are sore now a days. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :) 
> 
> Total Word Count: 1786


	4. Isolation is More Fun Anyways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck is faced with a reality that was reflected in his nightmares. He doesn't believe the others need him. He chooses to throw everything away for a chance to never wake up again.

**_-Haechan's pov-_ **

_Everything was dark. The air around him was cold, too cold for a mid summer night. The young boy strained to hear anything. His ears were only met by deafening silence. One thing the boy knew was that he was scared. Nothing made sense. Why was he alone? Why couldn't he see? Why was it so quiet? Reaching his hands to his face the boy felt cloth wrapped around his eyes. When did it get there? The scratchiness of the fabric felt familiar yet foreign. Had it belonged to his mother? The boy removed the cloth from his face. Everything was now black and white. The silence was filled by a woman's voice. A lullaby. He felt disorientated as a woman's figure appeared before him. A hand reached out towards her. He tried calling to her yet nothing came out. The woman's head tilted to the side as if questioning what was before her. The boy was unable to see her face. His body moved without his consent. No matter how much he ran she always remained out of his reach. Without warning the boy came to a halt as she turned on her heels. Just as he was about to reach out to her again the woman vanished in a wisp of smoke. Hair whipped around the boys face as an over bearing gust of wind passed. The lullaby had been replaced with that of carnival music. The boy was no longer four but now a teenager. A familiar scent caught his attention. He recognized the scent as being metallic mixed with something sweet. Looking around the teen was standing in front of a carousel. Looking the ride over, he realized why the scent was familiar. A body was hung from the ceiling rails. Blood soaked clothes made the teen gag. The teen hadn't noticed the trail of candy leading towards the body. Taking his chances he followed the trial. He wish he hadn't. As he came to a stop, a hand that once sat still gripped his throat. It was his own._

  
Donghyuck woke up screaming for the fifth time that week.

  
Arms snaked around the teens waist. He hadn't realized he was crying until a thumb brushed the skin under his eye. Donghyuck buried his face into the others chest as the tears streamed harder down his face. "You can cry baby." A gentle yet comforting kiss was placed on his head. "I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." 

  
"P-promise?"

  
"Promise." Donghyucks body shook as he sobbed. He hated his nightmares. They reminded him of his childhood. He was grateful for the older boy. The others didn't know about this side of Donghyuck. He always came off as arrogant, obnoxious, and clingy. In realty he was none of those. Donghyuck was one to act out in order to hide who he really was. What had transpired earlier in the day with Jaemin, Renjun, and Jeno didn't help to calm him down any. It had caused him to have a panic attack which is why he found himself napping in his room. The eldest of the boys, Mark, was Donghyucks rock. He kept the boy grounded to reality. Mark rubbed the younger's back in an attempt to calm him. Donghyucks shaking had slowly died down after thirty minutes. His sobbing was now merely left over tears that would fall every few seconds. Donghyuck didn't understand why Mark stayed by his side in times like this. It was a mystery to him. Mark could be doing anything he wanted within the hospital but he chose to be by the younger's side. Of course that was only in private. Once they left the comfort of either's room they were merely two teens trapped within white walls. Donghyuck would go back to "annoying" the elder while Mark would push him away and act "agitated." It really was a pity in Donghyucks eyes. The others didn't fear being themselves. Jaemin could be all over Jeno or Renjun and neither would bat an eye. They'd take it with open arms. Jisung clung to Chenle like his life depended on him. The Chinese boy found it cute and loved the attention. They all got teased by not only each other but by the staff. Of course it was all in a playful way. Mark didn't like being teased so he found why's around it. Keeping their friendship, them, a secret. 

  
Donghyuck thought he had no more tears. He was wrong. 

  
"Haechanie what's wrong?" At Marks question his tears became water works. Donghyuck shoved him away. He didn't wanna be kept a secret. He's always been everyone's dirty little secret. Not anymore. To say Mark was surprise at Donghyucks sudden actions were an understatement. Donghyuck quickly removed the hoodie he was wearing. A birthday present from Mark. He tossed the piece of clothing onto the bed before storming out of the room. Donghyuck wasn't sure where he was going. All he knew was that he wanted to get away. To hide. His feet had led him to a hallway that wasn't frequented very often due to lack of patients being housed there. Most of the time staff only entered as a shortcut to the medical building. Donghyuck entered one of the abandoned rooms. The room was completely empty with a thin layer of dust coating the walls and floor. Donghyuck cleaned the floor in one of the corners before sitting. Eyes red and puffy from crying scanned the room. Not much light was filtered into the room. The only window within the small space had black painted panels. A small portion of the paint had been chipped off at some point. Donghyuck hated being alone especial in a quiet place. He had no way to block the voices in his head. Running his hands through his hair didn't do anything to silence them.

  
"They don't need you." 

  
"They're better off without you in the end." 

  
"They left because you only made them miserable." 

  
"S-shut up." Donghyuck gripped the roots of his hair. 

  
"Mark doesn't love you. He never did." 

  
"You're lying." 

  
"Why do you think he keeps your relationship a secret?"

  
"Because he's scared." Donghyuck bit his lip. 

  
"He's embarrassed by you Donghyuck. He doesn't want someone who's clingy and needs constant reassurance."

  
"Besides. Everyone abandons you after a while. Who's to say he won't." 

  
"He l-loves me."

  
"You're wrong." 

  
"You're a petty case that he can use." Donghyuck yanked at his hair.

  
"You're easy. He can get what he wants from you." The voices grew louder.

  
"He doesn't want anything from me." 

  
"Why else would he be willing to sleep with you? He laughs at you when you aren't around." 

  
"Nonononono."

  
"He likes Jeno." 

  
"Jeno Likes Jaemin." Donghyucks mind was running haywire.

  
"Doesn't mean Mark won't leave." The voices continued till Donghyuck had had enough. His mind had gone blank as tear streaks stained his cheeks. He knew the voices were right. Mark didn't love him. He was only using him for his own personal satisfaction. His "friends" were only being nice because they were forced to. Donghyuck exited the room and walked down the hall. He wasn't sure how long he had been in that room but he didn't care. As Donghyuck wondered down the endless hall a refection caught his eye. Turning to look in the room to his right he caught sight of a mirror. Entering the room he stared at his refection. It made him sick. Closing the door, he turned the latch locking himself in. What happened next was a hazy memory. He was now leaning against the wall. Blood trailed down the wall from small gashes in the hand he used for support. 

  
"Must have punched the mirror." A dry laugh filled the room as Donghyuck slid down the wall. He stared at the shattered pieces of glass. If he was quick he could save himself from his own hell. Picking up the largest shard, he held it against his skin. Everyone questioned why he wore sleeves constantly. He always told them it was because he got cold easily. A lie he had perfected after a year. Donghyuck didn't mean for there to be so much blood. It had pooled all around him and was beginning to seep into his clothes. He stared emotionless at the fresh cuts. Most of them were to deep to stop without stitches. Others were small yet still painful. Well they would be had his body not gone numb after the first few. Donghyuck didn't have the strength to hold the glass shared anymore. He released it as his hand now held a deep gash to add to the list. Donghyuck laughed. The scene before him was similar to his nightmare. The blood stains on his clothes matched that of the body he dreamt of. The edges of Donghyucks vision had begun to grow dark as his body started growing cold. He welcomed the feeling with open arms as a faint smile graced his lips. 

  
"Isolation is more fun anyways. I don't need anyone in the end." Donghyuck shut his eyes praying he'd never open them again.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brb throwing myself out the window. I'm making myself suffer more than I need to 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Total Word Count: 1527


	5. The Unknown Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck breaks down for the first time in front of his friends. Mark keeps his promise. In the end the dreamies may be getting a new couch thanks to Jeno.

_**-Haechan's pov-** _

Donghyuck didn't hear the banging on the rooms door. He could barely register the sound of his name being screamed. His eyelids felt heavy as he tried to open them. When had they gotten the door open? Donghyuck could feel hands on his face that were all to familiar. Mark. The room sounded as if he was under water and listening to people talk. He couldn't make out how many voices there was or how many people were tending to him. Donghyuck couldn't feel the towels being pressed to his arms. He tried focusing on anything he could, except his mind was to hazy and his sense were to filled with the metallic sent. 

  
"Hyuck look at me." Donghyuck's head lulled to the side as his eyelids became heaver. He could just make out the feeling of small circles being rubbed into his cheeks. 

  
"Mark you need to leave him. Kun and the others will be here any minute with medical equipment." 

  
"We don't have minutes Taeyong! For fucks sake we don't even have seconds!" Mark tilted Donghyucks head upright. 

  
"Mark." Donghyuck knew that voice all to well. It belonged to Jaehyun and he sounded mad. 

  
"Baby look at me." Donghyuck tried to open his eyes. He really did. "Please Hyuck you can't leave me. I love you too much to let you go just like that. Baby you need to hold on and pull through." His vision was to blurry to make out anything clearly. Donghyuck was able to fight off the sleepiness pulling at him long enough to speak. 

  
"I love you too." Donghyuck couldn't remember what happened next. 

**_  
-3 Days Later-_ **

  
Donghyuck awoke in a bed in the medical building. He hated being there. As he came too he could feel someone holding his hand. Looking to his left he saw Mark asleep in a chair next to the bed. Donghyuck would say he looked peaceful while sleeping had it not been for the tears that continued to spill. Gently moving his hand in an attempt to not wake the other, Donghyuck froze. He didn't mean to wake Mark. He knew how much the other loved to sleep. He definitely wasn't expecting a pair of lips to be smashed against his. The shock must have been evident on his features as Mark chuckled before pulling him into a more passionate kiss this time. 

  
"Let the boy breath Lee." Jaehyun walked into the room.

  
"Only because you can kick me out. Literally." Mark sat back down in his chair as he played with the younger's fingers. 

  
"Uh good morning to you too?" Donghyuck was still dazed from his sleep. 

  
"It's good to see you're awake after three days." Jaehyun smiled softly as he looked at Donghyuck. "You're really lucky Mark found you when he did." 

  
"H-how did you find me?" Donghyuck glanced towards Mark.

  
"I know you like empty spaces to escape to when life becomes to much so I asked if there were any places like that in the hospital. Funny enough there was only two. The back hall you were in and the emergency hall that wasn't being used at that time." Mark was looking Donghyucks arm over. "Figured you knew better than to enter the medic hall. Guess I was right." Jaehyun ran a few tests after checking Donghyucks injuries. After spending a week in the hospital room for recovery Donghyuck was released back to is room. Of course Jaehyun would do an hourly check in. Donghyuck didn't mind though. He used it as an excuse to escape the others. Lately Donghyuck had been locking the door to his room but sadly he had forgotten to that morning. Donghyuck could swear his heart dropped to his feet. He could feel his pulse in the tips of his toes as kisses were trailed down his neck. 

  
"Mark." Donghyuck hissed as hands gripped tightly at his hips. 

  
"I missed you." Mark mumbled around the kisses. 

  
"Jaemin had his tongue down Jeno's throat didn't he?" 

  
"Maybe." Donghyuck sighed. 

  
"Can you not be horny for once?" 

  
"Can you stop rivaling the sun?" Donghyuck was suddenly spun around. 

  
"What?" 

  
"Sorry thought we were stating facts." Donghyuck rolled his eyes as circles were rubbed in his hips. 

  
"I'm not in the mood Lee. Jeno might be willing to lend Jaemin to you if you beg hard enough." He pushed the older boy away. Leaving the room as quick as possible. Donghyuck made his way to the common room. Jaehyun should be waiting for that hourly check in. He knows he's being childish. But he can't help it. The voices are back and they're much stronger this time. Donghyuck entered the common room and almost walked right back out. He may or may not have gagged a little at the sight before him. "Leave room for Jesus children! There's smaller children in the room!" Jeno's head snapped towards him. 

  
"You're the only other person in here." 

  
"Exactly." Donghyuck fidgeted with his sleeves. One would assume he was being a jerk to them. If you asked him he would agree but in reality he was jealous. He wanted what everyone else had. "We have bedrooms for a reason you know." 

  
"Yeah but I can't piss you off if I drag Jaem off behind closed doors." If Jeno wasn't known for being overly violent Donghyuck wouldn't hesitate to punch the overly cocky smirk off his face. "Besides Mine and Jaemins rooms are getting cleaned and Renjun locked us out." 

  
"I can see why." From where he stood Donghyuck could only make out the back of Jeno's head and the top of Jaemins. "Do I wanna know what you two are doing?" Suddenly a muffled moan filled the room. "Yup. Nope. Fuck this I'm out." Donghyuck didn't even make it near the door before Mark came barging into the room and right over to the duo. Donghyucks eyes froze on the older boy as he spoke. Jeno seemed to be contemplating something as Jaemins head suddenly popped up. Now he wished he had left sooner. Jaemin was latching onto Marks arm within seconds of their conversation dying out. 

  
"Please tell me you guys were only making out and nothing more." Renjun entered with the youngest two.

  
"Ding we have a winner!" Jaemin giggled as him and mark started for the exit. Donghyuck could tell something was up. Jeno never drags Renjun anywhere especially the couch. Mark wasn't stopping Jaemin from being a little too touchy. He could hear screaming coming from somewhere. It was him. 

  
"I take back what I said! I'll let you p-play with me. I'll be good I promise. Please j-just don't le-leave me!" The screaming didn't stop as tears formed. Donghyuck was on his knees covering his ears when the others barged in. He was scared. He couldn't lose the one thing that kept him alive. "Don't leave me Mark! I'll behave and listen."  

  
"Hyuck!?" Mark didn't waste a second in wrapping the smaller boy up in his arms. He's never seen his full sun break outside the comfort of their rooms. Mark knew it had to be something serious for Donghyuck to react like this. Screaming and crying? That's normal. Begging him to stay and use him? The last time he heard those words was when they first met nearly eight years ago. "Baby look at me." Donghyuck shook his head. "I'm not leaving you. I promised to stay be your side didn't I?" The eighteen year old nodded quickly. "I was there through all the nightmares. Through all the episodes. And I'm staying for the future ones as well." The screaming and sobbing had finally come to an end. Hiccups and sniffling was all that remained. Everyone was frozen from shock. They'd never seen this side to the duo. 

  
"I-I'm scared." 

  
"And that's okay baby everyone is." Mark knew what calmed his lover down. The problem? They weren't alone. When Donghyuck realized a crowd had formed his breathing became irregular to the point he couldn't breath. "Donghyuck look me in the eye and focus on only me." Donghyuck did as he was told. Mark always did have the strangest ways to calm him down. His breathing started leveling out the longer Mark rubbed small circles into his thigh. He didn't care at this point. He just wanted Mark. More importantly he wanted to calm down before his mind went into over drive again. No one wanted to leave. They didn't know when Donghyuck would panic again. If it occurred again then it would be game over. They wouldn't be able to bring him back. Eyes widen as Mark placed a few kisses along Donghyucks neck.

  
"Dude don't think this is the place or time." Donghyuck giggled at Jeno's comment. 

  
"You've literally screwed Jaemin on the couch." 

  
"Dude!" 

  
"I mean he ain't wrong." Jaemin shrugged before smiling. "The suns smiling again!" He was right. Donghyuck had a small smile on his face. 

  
"Shut up Jaemin." Mark smiled as Donghyuck hid his face in his chest.

  
"How you feeling?" The boy's smile grew larger. "I'll take that as better." Mark raked the others hair. 

  
"So we just gonna ignore the fact that Mark fucking Lee outed Jeno?" Jisung questioned while motioning between said boys. 

  
"Hold up. Did Jisung Park say more than three words? And swear at that?" Chenle slapped Jaemin's shoulder. 

  
"Let the kid live Nana." The older males laughed as the boy's bickered.

  
"No but really Jeno is that true?" Taeyong was taken aback. 

  
"If I tell you no will you believe me?" 

  
"Yeah and I'm president of China." Kun deadpanned. 

  
"Sorry Kun Chenle already owns that title." Renjun smirked. "Guess we're getting a new couch." The boys erupted into cheers. 

  
"Sometimes I wanna throw myself away." Johnny mumbled as he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

  
"You know I just realized Haechan's the only patient who's story I don't know." Taeil spoke looking towards the boy. 

  
"Aren't you assistant doctor or something Taeil?" WinWin's jaw dropped.

  
"Well yeah but I'm not assigned to any of them. I just help out when need be. I mean I used to take care of Mark till Johnny was hired. All staff are informed of Jeno and Renjun's cases once they start for safety reasons. I was the one who admitted Jaemin and Jisung. And I helped Kun during one of Chenle's exams." 

  
"I was abandoned by my mother when I was four. In and out of foster homes and hospitals for six years before ending up here." Donghyucks smile was as fake as his tone. 

  
"You don't need to tell us Haechan. I can always talk to Jaehyun."

  
"No everyone deserves the truth."

  
"Are you sure?" The teen just nodded. "Take things slow."

  
"It all started when I turned four." The room fell silent as Donghyuck began to speak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wasn't expecting this chapter to be so fucking long. Also I didn't wanna write the stories any longer than two chapters but here we are. 
> 
> Also I have another story in the works titled A World Once Shattered. It's Markhyuck centered. Feel free to check it out. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Total Word Count:1810


	6. The Memories That Haunt Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck finally gets years worth of torment off his chest. Mark isn't afraid to love him around the others anymore.
> 
>  
> 
> So @Minniemoe wanted some happiness for Hyuck. So I tried to fit it in. Sadly it only ended up being a small bit.

**_-Haechan's pov-_ **

  The three year old boy was looking forward to attending the carnival with his mother. He had questioned where his father was but his mother persisted he had work. Around 3pm they climbed into the car and were off. It only took them an hour to arrive. The little boy could see all the flashing lights and hear loud music from the car park. He couldn't hide his excitement as he grabbed his mother's hand and pulled her towards the entrance. If only the boy knew what would happen that night. Innocent giggles followed after the pair as the boy had the time of his life. They rode on as many rides as they could before grabbing some snacks. The boy munched on some cotton candy as he watched the farriers wheel. A small pile of candy sat next to him on the table. When he turned to ask his mother if they could ride the farriers wheel confusion hit him. He was alone. Fear had started setting in. Dropping his sugary treat, he stood. Tears began to prick his eyes the longer he looked around the table. Screaming for his mother didn't help. His fear was now bone deep as he ran through the crowds. Rushing to the exit the boy searched for his mothers car where he last remembered it. He couldn't find it. Falling to his knees the boy screamed and sobbed till his throat had become dry and scratchy. His voice now gone as his tears ran out. He had been abandoned by his family. Tomorrow was his fourth birthday. 

  
By his fifth birthday Donghyuck had been through six foster homes. Two of which abused him for being "to clingy and needy." Another set of "parents" neglected him after three weeks because he was overly cautious of his new home and family. The last three never gave a reason as to why they returned him. When Donghyuck turned seven he had become numb to the world around him. He stopped feeling the pain that came from beatings and being screamed at. In the end he still tried to make every new family he was sent to happy. He hated being left alone and abandoned. Why wasn't he enough? He had the best grades in his class and did everything he was told. Not once did he ever talk back or break rules. He let his foster bother play with him without telling. He's a good boy, so why couldn't anyone else see that? He hides the bruises like he's been told to do hundreds of times. It's not his fault he didn't wanna be left behind while his foster parents went on a trip to Japan. 

  
Donghyucks nine now. He's lost track of the number of homes he's been through. Is this his sixteenth one? Maybe his twentieth. He has rules he's made for himself. 

  
"Do as you're told." He gets dinner that night. 

  
"Let them have their way with you." He goes a night without getting beaten. 

  
"Avoid eye contact and keep your mouth shut." He get's called a good boy. 

  
"I fell down the stairs." He gets ice cream with his "family."

  
Donghyuck has his first panic attack in two years. He's been abandoned in the basement. Chain's hold him attached to the wall. He wants to be free but he knows he'll get in trouble if he makes a sound. His tenth birthday approaches. He's scared. Donghyuck can tell something isn't right. No one's come for him in days. He's alone again. Loud foot falls and voices snap him from his daze. The basement door opening makes his head spin. When was the last time he ate? Three figures enter his line of sight. Donghyuck shrinks in on himself as much as possible. His need for survival tops his need for acceptance. Donghyuck screams when the figures start towards him. A boy with dirty blonde hair comes into view first. He's average height and wears a soft smile. Donghyuck knows it's fake. No one would help him let alone save him from this hell. The chains are removed but he can't stand. His legs are to weak and his head spins faster the longer he sits upright. He collapses into the stranger as he's picked up. 

  
Six days pass before he wakes. Donghyuck is met by the beeping of machines and the bright white walls of a hospital room. He panics. Nurses rush into the in order to sedate him. Donghyuck can't breath, he's suffocating. Suddenly a doctor shoves past the nurses while another ushers them out. The doctors tall with dark brown, nearly black, hair. Neither speak as the new comer checks his vitals. The doctor begins writing on his clipboard before handing it to Donghyuck.  _Hello my name is Doctor Jung. You can call me Yoonho or Jaehyun if its more comfortable._ Donghyuck eyes him suspiciously. He takes the board and pen before draughting his thoughts down.  _I'm not supposed to be here. I'll get in trouble._  Jaehyun read what  the boy had written. The conversation carried on as so. For a whole hour not a single word was verbally exchanged. Donghyuck had learned that Jaehyun was assigned has his personal doctor and that he would be living under the care of the hospital until further notice. He didn't mind really. That's what he told himself. 

  
His first episode within the hospital walls occurred ten months after he'd arrived. 

  
Donghyuck had walked into the common room looking for something to do. Jaehyun was busy with other things so he had no one to talk to. He knew there was another patient but he never bothered to meet him. The gods must've hated him because there sat an unfamiliar figure on the couch. Approaching the couch, Donghyuck eyed the boy over once before nodding his head. "I'm Donghyuck." The boy stuck his hand out.

  
"And I'm not interested." The elder boy shoved his hand out of his face and went back to watching TV. 

  
"Rude." Donghyuck huffed before crossing his arms. "I'm just trying to be nice." 

  
"Like I said. Not. Interested." The boy glared at the figure before him.

  
"Do you like having fun?"

  
"What person doesn't?" A smirk crossed the younger's face. 

  
"You can have fun with me." To be honest Donghyuck missed all the attention he received from the foster homes. He knew it was negative and bad for him but he craved it. 

  
"Uh no thanks." Donghyuck panicked as the boy began leaving.

  
"Wait please don't leave!" The boy froze in fear and shock. "Don't leave me alone! I'll stop a-annoying you i-if you come back!" Now Donghyuck was in full panic mode. Tears streamed down his face the longer the unknown boy stayed still. Donghyuck couldn't take the silence. He began screaming. 

  
"Shit!" The older boy rushed to his side as he hugged him. "If you stop crying and calm down I'll watch TV with you." Donghyuck calmed down.

  
Donghyucks eleventh birthday rolled around. Him and Mark had gotten to know each other over the past year. Mark thought he knew everything there was to know about Donghyuck. He was wrong. The morning of Donghyucks birthday, Mark got a surprise. Donghyuck had woken him by crawling into the elders bed. Mark was used to this. What he wasn't used to was the younger fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. Mark didn't know why this was happening. He stood from the bed. 

  
"Hyuck I'm gonna grab us breakfast." Mark threw on a hoodie before turning his back. 

  
"M-mark." The younger stuttered as he sat up. "It's my birthday..."Donghyucks sentence trailed off as he looked to his lap. 

  
"I know. I'll be back." As Mark went to leave he felt a hand grip his jacket. 

  
"Stay. I'll be good if it means you'll stay for a little bit longer." Donghyuck didn't look up. "I won't annoy you today. I-i'll even stop talking." He began shaking.

  
"Hyuck it's okay I'm just grabbing breakfast. I'll be back I promise." 

  
"No you won't. That's what everyone says before they vanish."

  
"Donghyuck look at me." The younger shook his head.

  
"I'll let you play with me if it'll make you happy." Donghyuck was sobbing.

  
"Baby I could and would never use you." Mark climbed back into bed and hugged the boy tightly. Breakfast long forgotten. 

  
It's been nearly eight years since then. Donghyuck was now eighteen while Mark was nineteen. The younger of the two now laid wrapped in the older's arms as he cried. It hurt to remember but he needed to get it off his chest. Some of the people around them cried while others tried to act tough. Only Mark and Jaehyun knew this side of Donghyuck. Donghyuck clung to Mark as he tried to calm down. Mark simply pulled the boy closer as he rubbed his back. 

  
"These are the memories that haunt me and fuel my nightmares." Monophobia was always a part of Donghyuck. Maybe just maybe he could learn to over come it. Weeks later he found himself cuddling with Mark on the groups new couch. The couple had decided on binge watching some horror movies since they were bored. Donghyuck smiled as a kisses was pressed to his temple. 

  
"I love you."

  
"I love you more. Always have and always will." Donghyucks smile grew as he looked at Mark. Mark was already smiling at him. They were happy and that's all that mattered.                  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bitch is crying and that bitch is me. I swear I love my son. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Total Word Count: 1569


	7. My Mind's a Horror Filled Nighmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chenle can't block the voices out. They have to much of a hold on him. Jisung's scared of what Chenle's capable of. Chenle doesn't blame because he's just as scared.

**_-Chenle's pov-_ **

Chenle was the last of the teens to join. He was admitted in late July of 2016. His first year within the hospital was spent on constant watch. The others weren't quite sure why. He always laughed and cracked jokes as if his life depended on it. Of course no one was normal here. They all had their own means of coping. For Chenle it was faking a laugh at 3am as Jeno gets a soccer ball to the stomach. Or when Mark trips over his own two feet because he's too tired to focus on his surroundings. For others they choose to hide from everyone while he sought out the youngest member. They were inseparable from day one. Wherever one went the other followed closely behind. Chenle wouldn't have it any other way. 

  
Or so he thought.

  
The mind of a seventeen year old can be a scary place. Especially when he feeds into the voices his subconscious has created. Today happened to be one of those days. Chenle groaned as the curtain on his window was drawn back. He wished he had locked his door last night. Chenle glared at the head doctor as he hummed a Chinese tune. Most likely a lullaby of some type. Kun smiled at the younger boy as he placed a plate of food on the desk. There was only a few things Chenle could deal with in this world. Kun's ability to understand his mood and thoughts without him needing to speak was one of them. Chenle rolled over so his back was facing the window. He'd just ask Jisung to close it when he came by later. Chenle felt like screaming the longer he remained awake. Kun wouldn't let the teen fall back asleep while he tidy up and made conversation. After an hour or so the doctor finally left once he made sure Chenle had eaten. Chenle had become numb to his body long ago but he still hated how crying made him feel. He felt weak and useless. People took advantage of those like him. Chenle had an excellent grasp on masking who he truly was. Someone thought he was innocent? He could play that role. His parents friends thought he was smart and mature? Came as easy as breathing. What they didn't know was that he was broken. An empty shell of who he once was. Most nights were spent staring at the wall as his mind screamed. Days were spent keeping his companion from breaking while he was on the verge of breaking himself. Kun always asked if he tried to seek help before he was admitted. He didn't try. He begged and pleaded. No one wanted to help him. They always told him the same thing.  

  
"Rich boys don't cry for help. They spend their money on material objects like cars to make them happy." 

  
"You should be grateful your parents don't control your life like some parents do." You don't know the truth.

  
"Your older brothers are very lucky to have a little brother like you!" I've never met my brothers. 

  
Chenle buried his face in his blanket as tears stream down his face. He tried to block the voices but they only grew louder the harder he tried. Chenle was afraid of what he would do if he kept listening to them. He didn't have to wait long before he was out of bed. The bright light seeping into his room only made him angry. Chenle grabbed the curtains and ripped them down. He hated the warmth that fell on him afterwards. His head was full of voices but the one that stood out was his mother. 

  
"You aren't anything special. You never have been." I know.

  
"Why can't you be like your brothers?" I want to be my own person.

  
"You'll live by our rules. After all you're apart of the upper class." I want to be free.

  
"Freedom comes with a price." I'm willing to pay.

  
"You're a coward." Please stop.

  
"Jisung deserves someone who can be by his side at all times." I'm there for him.

  
"No you aren't. Renjun makes him happier than you ever will." 

  
"Stop!" Chenle hunched over at the waist as panic filled his veins. 

  
"Society doesn't want you." I don't need anyone.

  
"I don't want you." Jisungs voice rang loud and clear.

  
"I never needed you." Please save me.

  
"You're a disgrace to me and your family." I thought you cared.

  
"I used you for my own gain." I need you more than ever.

  
"The world would be better without you." 

  
"Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up shut up!" He felt sick as his throat began closing. He couldn't breath.

  
"Just end it. It'll be quick and painless." Chenles voice filled the room. "No one's gonna miss you anyways." He stood as he faced the small mirror. The mirror wasn't anything special. Just a small oval shaped frame that housed glass. Every room had one. They should've taken it out when they had the chance.  "They never cared. You're just another face in a pile of files." Chenle lifted the mirror from it's spot above his dresser. Staring at his reflection only disgusted him. He really did look like his mother. What a shame. The sound of glass shattering echoed through the room and into the hall. Chenle didn't care. Kneeling caused pieces of glasses to dig into his skin. Chenle barely registered the pain. Picking up a shard, he twisted it around while examining it. Chenle wasn't thinking when he swung the shard. He didn't react when Jisung's scream filled the room as blood gushed from a deep gash in his arm. He wasn't thinking when he dragged the shard across his own arm. To him the screaming and crying was all in his head. It had to be. Jisung didn't care for him. He wouldn't have come to save him. No one would. He was just another face in the crowd. Chenle panicked when a hand gripped his wrist. He was alone. Right? His ears were suddenly full of crying pleads as crimson streamed onto his hand. That wasn't his blood. He wasn't alone. He never was. Chenle lifted his head. He now sat eye to eye with a boy. There wasn't just one gash in the others skin. Chenle counted three. One on his cheek and two on the boys arm. Chenle became numb.  

  
When had Jisung entered his room? Why was he covered in cuts? 

  
Chenle screamed. His panic attack was back and he couldn't understand what was going on. He never wanted to hurt Jisung. His precious Park Jisung. The boy who clung to him when his nightmares came back. When his mind couldn't handle a room full of people or being alone. He never meant to drag the glass across his porcelain skin. He was scared. The room smelt of blood. Chenle threw up. He couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't violent and he never hurt others. Why did he hurt the one thing that kept him sane? Jisung was terrified. He just wanted to help. He cared for the older boy. Why had he hurt him? Had Jisung done something to anger the boy? 

  
"Le-lele?" Chenle's world came crashing down. 

  
"S-Sungie...?"

  
Chenle reached out to the other boy. Jisung flinched. Chenle ran a finger along the gash on Jisungs cheek. Blood smeared as he trailed his finger towards the younger's lips. Why was there small droplets of blood on his lips? Jisung visible stiffened. Chenle fell deeper into his nightmare. Voices replaced his own as doctors and nurses rushed into the room. Someone was pulling Jisung away and towards the door. Chenle broke. Chenle quickly stood before placing the shard near his neck. The room went still. 

  
"Chenle drop it." Ten's voice sounded so distant yet so close. 

  
"Chenle you aren't thinking straight." Kun held a hand up towards him. He pressed the shard to his skin. A small amount of blood trickled down the skin. 

  
"Jisungie." One word and the younger boy had his arms wrapped tightly around the older. Lucas grabbed the shard while others cleaned the remaining pieces on the floor. Chenle hid his face in the taller boys chest. Kun ushered the others out of the room. Soon Chenle was being lead to the medical hall by Jisung. Chenle knew all to well what was to come. Kun would have one of his staff members watch over him. Jisung would be taken to a different room and be treated. He'd be alone again. He hated being without Jisung. After today he may never see the younger once they healed. The thought scared him more than the voices. The voices could trick him into hurting himself, but Jisung kept him alive and kept him from falling. Chenle entered the hospital room as the door was shut behind him.

  
"My mind's a horror filled nightmare. And I'm scared of what it can do." Chenle was ready to fall once again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nct is killing me with them Vlive's. Like I had this chapter planned out and almost finished but naaaahhhhh. 18 little shits just had to do a billion streams in the span of two days. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Total Word Count: 1491


	8. Please Save Me From Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chenle spends the rest of the day in the medic wing. He writes two letters to his most prized friend. Lucas can't handle his job anymore.

**_-Chenle's pov-_ **

Chenle didn't have any time to mull over what had just occurred as Kun and Lucas entered the room. They quickly ushered him to the bed as Kun began cleaning his cuts. Chenle eyed Lucas as the older boy stood off to the side. He wasn't sure why the other was there or why he refused to look in his direction. Must be a newbie thing. Chenle didn't dwell on it long though since Kun started speaking. He didn't listen much to the conversation, only picking up bits and pieces. He hadn't realized Kun was taking to Lucas until Jisung's name was brought up. Was his Jisungie okay? 

  
"Is Jisung okay....?" Chenle looked away.

  
"Yes. Just a little shaken up but he'll be fine within the hour." He could feel a fresh round of tears.

  
"Can....can I see him?" 

  
"I don't think that's a good idea Lele." Chenle couldn't stop the tears that fell.

  
"I didn't mean too. I didn't know he was there Kun-ge." A hiccup and sniffle interrupted him. "I thought his voice was in my head like all the other times. I'm so sososo sorry." Lucas couldn't take seeing the younger sad. Kun on the other hand was used to this bi-weekly occurrence. 

  
"We know it was an accident. Jisung isn't mad. Confused? Just a little." Lucas wrote what they said down on a clipboard Kun had made him bring. Write what the two say, he was told. Lucas felt like he was intruding. 

  
"B-but he should be. I cut him." Chenle looked up at the eldest. "I hurt the one thing that was important to me. The one person who kept me sane." Chenle had cried his heart out for the first time that day. Kun never did find out the full extent of Chenles story. All he knew was that Chenle's parents were a sensitive topic and that he can't be left alone for long. He never forced the boy to tell him. He didn't believe in those methods. None of the staff who worked with the boys did. Everything the boys told them was on their own accord and by their own free will. It made the trust they had true to it's self and just that much stronger. When Kun and Lucas were about to leave for the night Chenle asked for a piece of paper. Kun agreed under one condition. One of them stays in the doorway while he writes. Chenle agreed. 

  
Chenle placed the papers on the food tray and set to work. 

_  
A boy aged three walks around a park with each hand being held by his parent's. A large toothed grin sits on the boys face. He's missing a tooth. High pitched laughs and screams fill the air as he runs around and plays. The boy, now five, stares out his bedroom window as his cousins play and chase one another. From were he sits the boy feels sadness wash over him. He wants to play and run around the lavish yard. Why does he have to stay inside and study? The sound of a whip cracking against his desk snaps the boy from his fantasy. The private tutor his parent's had hired stares him down. The boy shrinks into himself as she begins speaking once again. Two years pass as he's kept inside more frequently. It's the first time a family member asks who he is. He tells him his name. They should know their own nephew. How could they forget him? Was he that forgettable? The boy cried himself to sleep that night. The following morning he's awoken by his mother calling his name. How he missed her sweet voice. Rushing downstairs the young boy is met with his parents sitting around the dinning room table. He climbs into his chair and smiles brightly. He missed being treated like a child. His father calls his name as he reads the paper. The boy looks towards him as he speaks._

_  
"There's a company gala tomorrow night. We'll be attending as a family." The boy's happy. He can't remember the last time he left the house. The following night goes well, at least to the little boy. His parent's, especially his father, disagree. Aged eight and the boy is faced with nightmare filled nights. His dreams are full of his parent's leaving him for a better son. Sometimes they say mean things. The words haunt him even during the day. Three years pass in a blur that's mixed with hate filled comment's and social pressure. The boy knows his father is a VERY powerful man. He knows not to cross his father even if it costs him his life. The boy made a mistake. He wasn't sure what it was but his father wouldn't stop speaking about it. They had just come home from another work based mini gala that was hosted by one of his fathers biggest customers. His father wasn't happy._

_  
"Why can't you be like your brothers?" He had brothers? The boy was never informed of his older siblings._  

_  
"I have brothers?"_

_  
"Two of them who are well off. Your eldest is running his own company in another country and the other is a famous actor back in China." His father loosened his tie. "By the time they were your age their futures were guaranteed. You're eleven and yet you can't pass a damn class or do what you're told." The boy's confused. He has straight As and receives complements from his tutors all the time. How was he failing his studies? The boy always made sure he was top at everything he did. Whither it be academics, sports, or art. It was never enough. He'd pull all nighters to study up on the attendees of the upcoming dinners and outings in order to impress them. They never batted an eye at him. All they did was speak about his brothers achievements and never his. The boy did everything like the brother's he never met. One night he couldn't take it anymore and asked his mom. She told him that his brothers were 15 and 17 when he was born. They lived at a boarding school and so their parents hadn't taken them along when their fathers company expanded to South Korea. Instead they packed up and moved. The boy's mother went into labor three months later giving birth to the youngest son._

_  
The boy celebrated his thirteenth birthday  by being told he wasn't enough. That his parent's never should've had him. He was born into an upper class family. He knew he had to be prim and proper. He tried so hard to fit in but he never pleased anyone. They all looked down on him. By the time he turned fifteen he had tried to take his own life twice. First by stealing his mothers sleeping  pills. He couldn't bring himself to swallow enough. The second time he made deep gashes in his thighs and wrists. He hadn't bleed quick enough. The boy had fallen into a never ending depression. The voices that had appeared shortly after turning thirteen had become his only comfort in his life. They were deadly whispers that kept him awake at night and tried to kill him by day. One day a few months after his fifteenth birthday he came home to three men standing in his living room. All wore white as they stared at him. The boy was confused. Who were these men and why were they here?_

_  
"I'm Kun and this is Taeil. We're with the Seoul Recovery Hospital. Your parents have asked us to take over as being your guardian. Please pack whatever you need. We'll be waiting in the car." They were sending him away. His parents were finally taking up on their endless threats. The boy just grabbed his phone, earbuds, charger, and favorite blanket before walking out the door. He wanted to get rid of everything that tide him to his family. The boy got in the car without saying a word. He never looked back after the car pulled away from his used to be home._  

_  
That boys name was Zhong Chenle. I've spent the past two years within the walls of this  hospital. I don't regret my decisions. I never will._

  
Chenle stared at the paper as his eyes pricked with tears. He never liked sharing his story with others. He feared they would judge him like everyone else. Setting aside the first sheet of paper, Chenle began writing on another.

_  
To my cutest Jisungie,_

_  
We haven't know each other very long. Two years really flies by when you spend it with someone you truly care about. Huh, it's weird to write this letter to you. I know Kun-ge said you weren't mad at me but I can't help but to worry. I didn't mean to hurt you. If I could turn back time I would. I'd stop myself from ever hurting you. I ~~care~~ love you to much to let you go. You keep the  voices at bay whenever you're around. You've helped me more than you could ever know. I know I can be annoying at times but I really do appreciate everything you do. From you clinging to my arm to waking me in the early hours because you had a nightmare or just couldn't sleep. I'm not one to express how I feel all the time nor is it easy at that. But you give me the confidence to share whats on my mind. You allow me to be me without placing judgement on me.  ~~God my tears won't stop!~~  Promise me you won't leave and that you'll always remain by my side till the day death claims us both. _

_  
Please save me from myself._

_  
Your Lele_  

  
Tears dripped down his cheeks as Chenle motioned the other over. The tall boy didn't hesitate as the younger one placed the folded papers in his out stretched hand. Chenle didn't speak a word as he handed the pen back and curled under the sheets. He welcomed the darkness with open arms as he fell asleep. Lucas didn't open the letters as he made his way to Jisungs room. Jungwoo and Taeyong didn't question his presence. They simply stepped to the side as he placed the papers on the bedside table. Lucas already knew what was in the notes as he held back tears while leaving. The tall blond didn't think he could handle working here anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Try not to cry challenge: FAILED -casually crying in my living room-
> 
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Total Word Count: 1744


	9. Being Without Attention is Deadly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaemin gets told no for the first time and doesn't take it so well. Jeno needs to fucking chill. Also Renjun's an ass.

**_-Jaemin's pov-_ **

A seventeen year old boy lay in bed as he listened to voices echo down the hall outside his room. He wasn't sure how long they had been there. Minutes? Maybe hours? It didn't matter to him. He wanted to be let out but he couldn't leave. The doctors wanted to know why he suddenly freaked out. He didn't want them too know. He was afraid of what they would do. The only people he cared for had gone against him. At least that's what he believed. The one person who loved him was dragged off screaming and kicking. The one person who put up with him wanted nothing to do with him. And the one person who was supposed to take care of him had up and vanished. Jaemin didn't mean to cause a show in the common room. He was just reminded of why he never went anywhere alone. The man that had come for him was the reason for his nightmares. He had panicked when the man grabbed his wrist. he didn't want his baby to get in trouble for protecting him. He also didn't want him to kill anyone. He truly was sorry for the damage he caused that day. Everyone told him it wasn't his fault but he knew it was. If he had just gone without putting up a fight nothing bad would've happened. At least not to his friends. He was a different case. 

  
That was a week ago. Jaemin hadn't been outside his room since then. His room wasn't much compared to the others. He had a bed and a dresser. His desk was taken after a certain incident had occurred. He once had a mirror but it got broken during that time. A knock caught his attention as he eyed the intruder. 

  
"How you feeling?" Terrible.

  
"I'm doing fine. Slightly sleepy still." To make his words more believable Jaemin faked a yawn.

  
 "Don't blame you. I came to let you know you're free to roam around."

  
"Since when?" Jaemin sat up.

  
"Since right now. I talked it over with Kun and Taeil and they agreed that keeping you in your room isn't the best choice right now." The doctor motioned behind him towards the hall. "You should go for a walk. It'll be good for you." 

  
"I'm fine." As much as Jaemin hated being in his room it was better than dealing with others questioning him. "You can leave Doctor Kim." 

  
"Since when do you refer to me by my last name?" Jungwoos eyes scanned the boys face.

  
"Since last week." The boy lay back down and covered his head with the sheets. Jungwoo sighed as he left after shutting the door once again. Jaemin must have fallen asleep at some point after Jungwoo left. When he sat up his room was covered in a low glow from the setting sun. Jaemin realized how stiff his body felt after not moving much. Getting out of bed as he stretched. Glancing around his room Jaemin decided to go for a walk. Not caring much about his appearance. The common room wasn't very noise for once as he looked around. Mark and Donghyuck were on one of the couches playing some game. While the youngest two sat in a corner talking. Jaemins eyes fell on who he was looking for. Jeno may be on lock down but he could always beg Renjun to entertain him like he's done hundreds of times before. Making his way over to the older boy Jaemin plopped down on his lap. 

  
"I see they finally let you out." Renjun didn't bother to look up from his book.

  
"I guess you could say that." Jaemin wiggled slightly in an attempt to get Renjun to look at him. "You ever gonna put your book down?" 

  
"I don't see why I should." Jaemin frowned. "Jeno's not on lock down right now." 

  
"I'm not allowed to see him." Jaemin grabbed the book and tossed it to the opposite side of the couch. "Please Junnie." Renjun sighed as Jaemin peppered his face in kisses. He wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone especially Jaemin at the moment.

  
"Jaemin I'm not in the mood. Go entertain yourself or something." Jaemin froze. He was never told no nor was he ever pushed away. He could feel Renjun trying to push him off. So that's exactly what he did. Jaemin stood and glared at the other. 

  
"Fine. Don't come to me when you need someone to screw." With that Jaemin stormed off ignoring the looks he got from a few staff members. Being told no didn't hurt him. What did was the fact that Renjun wasn't effected by his statement. Just said okay and went back to reading. Jaemin shoved past a few nurses on the way back to his room. He knew Renjun didn't care for him. He knew he was only being used. But it still hurt in the end. Jaemin slammed his door shut. He wasn't sure what to do with himself. He wasn't in a needy mood. He just wanted attention. Jaemin only had one means of getting it and he had been turned down. Jaemin glared at the floor. Maybe he could sneak into the medical wing? Jeno would never turn him down. But then again the older boy was in no condition to be around anyone. Only Doyoung was allowed in his room. Jaemin sighed as he  looked around. There wasn't anything to do in there. Jaemin mostly used his room to sleep in. Once in a while he might just lounge around it if he was to lazy to walk to the common room. After an hour of sitting on his bed Jaemin stood. He felt like he was going crazy. His once overly spacious room now felt as if it was a mere 1ft by 1ft box. He needed someone to distract him. Call his name and snap him back but he had no one. Jungwoo was busy doing whatever so he couldn't go to him. Jaemin stumbled around his room grasping at nothing but air. His vision was blurred on the edges. Jaemin felt alone as his  mind spun. When had a hand wrapped around his throat? Jaemin gasped for air the longer his hand remained. He couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to throw something. Anything if it meant getting attention. He could scream till he lost his voice or beg someone. Jaemin was confused as an arm wrapped around him as another removed his hand. 

  
"Jaem breath. Your baby's here." Jaemins eyes widen.

  
"Jeno?" He spun around as fast as he could. His eyes must've been playing with him. Jeno was stupid but not stupid enough to sneak away from Doyoung. 

  
"I missed you." A kiss that still sent shivers through his boy was all it took to clear his mind. Jaemin wasn't drowning anymore. He could see and think clearly again. Jaemin groaned when their kisses was abruptly interrupted.

  
"This mother fucker tried to stab me!" An exasperated Ten yelled as he ran into the room along with Doyoung. 'Okay maybe he really was stupid and crazy' Jaemin thought. 

  
"More like nearly succeed." Yuta mumbled as he stepped in. Doyoung shook his head.

  
"What did you two do?" Jeno ignored the three as he buried his face in the crook of Jaemins neck. 

  
"I asked him if he was ready to speak. But instead he grabbed the scissors from the medical supplies on the food try and threatened me." Ten pointed at the younger boy. "I told him to drop them or else he would have to stay longer. Jeno wasn't fond of the answer seeing as he lunged at me." Jaemin Knew Jeno was prone to violence. But this was a whole new level. He stiffened the longer the doctors talked. 

  
"I pulled him out of the way which is how Jeno managed to escape from the room." Yuta added on as he watched the teens. 

  
"Jesus." Doyoung ran a hand through his hair. "Jeno let go of Jaemin. You'll have to go back to being watched." Jeno's grip tightened as he remained still. 

  
"My Nana needs me. You'll have to drag me back by my dead body." Jaemin gripped the older's shirt. Doyoung bit his lip. He didn't know what to do. If he dragged Jeno back, Jaemin would freak and it would cause Jeno to get violent. He didn't need either at the moment. Doyoung signaled for the other two to leave in which they did. 

  
"We will talk about what happened between you and Ten later." Doyoung walked towards the door. "In the mean time calm Jaemin down." With that the doctor left. Jeno didn't have to be told twice as he pulled the younger closer. 

  
"Being without attention is deadly, but being with you will kill me." Jaemin had what he wanted and that's all that mattered to him.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly I had nothing interesting to write for Nana's chapter :( but hopefully his next chapter will be better. I may edit it later on but I might not. 
> 
> Thanks for reading 
> 
> Total Word Count: 1484


	10. We All go a Little Mad Sometimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaemin snaps. Renjun's just as emotionless as even. Jeno begins to bleed out.

_**-Jaemin's pov-** _

_High pitched wailing filled the air. Jaemin poked his head out of his room and looked up and down the hall. The crying grew louder as he crept towards the nursery. The young boys ears rang as he entered the room. He wasn't sure why the little bundle inside the crib was crying. Nor did he understand why his parents hadn't woken up. Just as he was about to climb onto the rocking chair to peak at the infant the bedroom door swung open. In walked his overly tired mother who merely shoved him aside before picking his baby brother up. Jaemin was used to being pushed aside after months of the repetitive action. Jaemin watched as his mother rocked the baby back to sleep. Not a single word was exchanged between the two. The young boy glanced around the room before quickly escaping back to his room. He wasn't sure what time it was or how long he had been laying in bed staring at his ceiling. The glow in the dark stars did nothing to calm his nerves or nightmares._

_  
Three years passed as the young boy, now a freshman in high school, stared at the pile of homework on his desk. He pressed his lips into a thin line as his ringtone filled the air. Jaemin hesitated for a split second before answering._

_  
"Hey pretty thing." Jaemin never really liked that nickname._

_  
"Hey. Whats got you calling so late?" Jaemin eyed the clock on his wall. 2am huh?_

_  
"I'm bored and none of my friends can hangout." Someones last choice as always. But if it meant he got attention then so be it._

_  
"Pick me up. I'll be ready in 5." He ended the call. He never needed much on nights like these. Pair of cloths, some makeup, and his phone charger. His parents wouldn't notice him gone. They never did. Jaemin stopped trying to gain his parents attention after his brother was born. He was 12 then. Now he's 15 and straddling a seniors lap. He wasn't exactly sure when the others arrived or how long they had been there. He didn't care. He came over for one thing and he'd be damned if he left without getting it. Four hours later and he's walking back into his house high as shit and completely trashed. Jaemin was thankful for the high and alcohol that numbed the pain in his lower back. He hadn't noticed how full the room was. Then again everything was weird colors and shapes on top of the fact that his world was spinning. The living room lights burned his eyes as he used a hand to block them. He would've stayed over had it not been for the fact his "friends" neighbor called the cops over a noise complaint. He didn't want anything to do with the cops tonight. Jaemin leaned against the wall as his mother came into view._

_  
"Oh my god Jaemin are you high!?"_

_  
"And if I am?" His speech was slurred as he shrugged his shoulders._

_  
"I can't believe this." His fathers voice was distant yet close. Jaemin swayed slightly as he tried for the stairs._

_  
"Jaemin stay where you are. We're going to have a family discussion." Jaemin laughed._

_  
"I may be high and then some but I know for a fact we aren't having a discussion over shit." Jaemin tried to glare at his father but failed as the motion made his head spin even more. Suddenly a sharp pain shot up his back as his father smack him. The once dull ache now an excruciating sting. Jaemin hissed while biting his lip._

_  
"Listen to your mother." His father shoved him towards the couch. Jaemin barely managed to keep himself upright long enough to reach the piece of furniture. Once seated he looked around him. The suspicious people he'd never seen before eyed him._

_  
"Hello Jaemin where here because your parents think you've been acting out. They don't know what to do anymore." One of the guys spoke_ carefully.

_  
"I mean if getting high and drunk is acting out then sure." His voice was laced with sarcasm. "I'm not sober enough to deal with this. If you think I'm acting out to much then send me away. Wouldn't make a difference either way."_

_  
And he was right. The first 8 months within the hospital were spent getting whatever attention he could. Throwing a fit. Screaming and crying. Harming himself. He was willing to pay any price he could. Of course it didn't last long. Shortly before his one year examination Jaemin was approached by one of the other patients. He was only four months older than him and slightly shorter. Jaemins eyes widen once he realized who it was. Lee Jeno. The boy who was know for being obsessively violent. Jaemin wasn't stupid he knew to stay away from the older boy and his friend._

_  
"You must be Jaemin." But damn if his eye smile wasn't cute._

_  
"What's it to you?"_  

 _  
"Renjun told me you'd make a great friend._ " 

  
And that's how everything started. Him and Jeno hung around each other. Jaemin grew used to Jeno's possessive nature. He also grew used to Renjun being around them. Soon enough Jaemin would go to both of them if he needed some type of attention. Three years were spent like this. 

  
Now Jaemin's stuck between getting Jeno help and letting him do whatever.

  
After the incident with Doyoung, Ten, and Yuta had transpired earlier in week, Jaemin was left with two choices. Jeno needed help with his mental state and Jaemin needed someone by his side. Twice Doyoung had come by to drag Jeno off. It nearly ended with another body to add to the count. At this point Jaemin was scared. What had started as possessiveness was now borderline obsession and it wasn't healthy. Jaemin's gone days without being around Jeno and so has Renjun. Now the two boys were locked in Jaemins room with an overly happy Jeno as he talks. Jaemin may crave for attention but this wasn't what he wanted. He's had some bad attention in the past but this was pushing it. Renjun would never pass up a chance to fight someone but he was smart and he knew to never go against the slightly younger boy. They all knew that. Renjun was good at using his street smarts. Jaemin had Jeno wrapped around his little finger. It was the perfect plan. But only one thing stood in the way. They needed something sharp and they needed it now. Jaemin could fake cry. Hell he could scream. And that's what he did. He let fake tears stream down his cheeks as he called for slightly shorter boy. Jeno didn't hesitate in the slightest to try and cheer Jaemin up the second the tears started rolling. Jeno hated seeing his two boys crying. Especially Jaemin. So when Jaemin hugged him, Jeno didn't think twice about it. However his eyes widen once a sharp pain shot through his lower abdomen. A soft giggle was followed by a voice ghosting over his ear. 

  
"Honey we're all ticking time bombs. You aren't the only one capable of murder." Blood drenched his shirt as it poured onto the floor. Renjun was emotionless as always. He didn't bat an eye when Jaemin giggled or stabbed the other. He simply took the chance to unlock the door. Jaemin hated hurting his baby. He truly did. However he craved attention and being locked in a room for three days wasn't cutting it. Blood never was Jaemins strong point but in that moment it tasted all too sweet as he planted a kiss on the others lips. He knew Jeno wouldn't hold a grudge. He could never hurt Jaemin. Renjun looked towards the other two as Jeno stumbled slightly from blood loss. Jaemin simply nodded towards him as Renjun opened the door. A shrill scream echoed through the halls along with meaningless pleads.  
Jaemin struggled to hide the smile on his pretty little lips. After all, everyone goes a little insane. 

  
Jaemin pulled away from the other with the blade still in his hand. Jenos eyes were still so wide as he looked at the younger. 

  
"Oh my god!?" Jisung screamed as him and the others ran into the room. Chenle grabbed him quickly pulling him into the hall. While Mark and Donghyuck froze. They couldn't believe their eyes. Blood was all over the floor and coated Jaemin. Renjun shoved past them and went to his room. Jaemin still held a smile on his lips. Jungwoo and Taeyong rushed to Jaemins side and ushered him off. Jeno had collapsed just as more people rushed in. Doyoung had a towel pressed to the wound while Ten and Kun hurried to get medical supplies from a nearby nurses station. No one was sure what went down. Renjun however locked himself away in his room while Jaemin happily took in all the attention he was getting. If you asked him if he was insane he'd simply look you in the eyes and answer; 

  
"We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven't you?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting for like a week. I couldn't think of anything to write for Jaemins second chapter and I didn't want it to be like a 100 worded back story on why he craves attention. But I did manage to finish almost everyone else's. Just have Jeno's second chapter and Mark's chapters left then the story will truly begin. Also sorry for the sudden change in Jaemins character. I'm tired as shit and honestly its as good as this chapter is gonna get.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Total Word Count: 1529


	11. I Promise I'm Fine. Really.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung faces back to back anxiety attacks after Chenle hurts him by accident.

**_-Jisung's pov-_ **

  
This wasn't the first time he'd been in the hospital because of the older boy. Of course he would never tell the other. He didn't wanna break his heart. Jisung picked at the edges of his bandages. The event from earlier still ever present in his mind. Jisung didn't like being hurt but he wanted to keep his friend safe. Both Taeyong and Jungwoo had asked him what happened. He wasn't sure to be honest. All he knew was that Chenle wasn't safe to be around and he paid the price. 

_  
Jisung had entered the familiar room like he always did. He'd arrived earlier than normal after a strange feeling had settled in his gut. The feeling only increased as he heard screaming from the very room he stood in. The curtains had been ripped from their place above the window as large tears now covered them. Jisung wasn't surprised. It wasn't unusual to enter and find something broken or ripped. As he scanned the boy before him he knew something bad was going to happen. Chenle was hunched over and crying. Jisung curiously approached the other. He placed a hand gently on Chenle's shoulder but was shoved off as a string of "shut ups" fell from the Chinese boys lips. Jisung stepped back as he heard the boy mumbling about hurting himself. Jisung was taken aback as he tried to get Chenle's attention. He called for the boy and even screamed but nothing worked. He watched as the blond grabbed the mirror from above his dresser and smashed it. He rushed to his side when he picked up a piece and began examining it. Jisung flinched when Chenle cut his cheek. He didn't move away from the boy when he cut his arm. However, Jisung could only handle so much. He screamed when the glass caused a deep set gash to form in his lower arm. He sobbed and pleaded with Chenle to stop. But he was far to gone by that point. Only when Jisung's blood coated the other's hand did he snap back enough to stop. Jisung was terrified. He could feel an anxiety attack bubbling in the pit of his stomach. It wouldn't take long for him to break. That time came quicker than he wanted. He wanted to run and hide but he couldn't. Chenle had him trapped with a hand on his cheek and staff surrounding them. Jisungs world was crashing down as he stiffened. The pain in Chenle's eyes only made it worse. A nurse grabbed Jisung's arm as she pulled him up and towards the door. He didn't need to be called twice. He could hear the desperation in Chenles voice and the panic in his eyes. Jisung shoved the nurse off and without hesitation wrapped Chenle in a hug. Moments like these were automatic responses at this point. Chenle called his name? Jisung would cling to him without question. Jisung had an episode? Chenle would lay next him in bed till he calmed down._

_  
Jisung led Chenle to the medical hall as instructed. They remained in a tension filled silence. Chenle held his hand in a death grip as if the younger would disappear any second. Once they reached Chenles room Jisung managed to talk him into letting go. He didn't want to leave him alone yet at the same time he wanted to get miles away. He did just that. He ran to the furthest room. Jisung collapsed once both feet passed the rooms threshold. Why was he so scared? He's been down this road more times than he'd like to admit especially during the past two years. Breath in. Breath out. 1....2.....3.....4 breath in deeply. 4.....3.....2....1 breath out slowly. It should've been simple. It should've been easy. Why wasn't it working? Jisung wasn't sure when Taeyong showed up. He wasn't sure when the tears started either. What he did know was that he clung to the older boy like his life depended on it. He buried his face in his shirt as he cried. Jisungs breathing began to level out as Taeyong pulled him closer. He fell asleep sometime later._

  
Jisung was startled when a tissue was pressed to the skin under his eyes. He was crying. Taeyong wiped the tears as Jungwoo spoke. What were they talking about   
again? 

  
"-Sung how are you feeling?" Horrible.

  
"I'm feeling better. My chest doesn't hurt anymore and my headache is gone." Jisung sniffled. 

  
"That's good." Jungwoo wrote what he said down.

  
"Why are you crying Jisung?" Taeyong really was like a mom sometimes. 

  
"I was just thinking." He couldn't look either in the eye.

  
"Chenle?" Jisung stiffened. "It's okay sweetie. There's nothing to worry about." Taeyong hugged him quickly before standing. As he stood, Lucas walked into the room holding two folded pieces of paper. Jisung didn't want to know what was written on them. Taeyong and Jungwoo stepped aside as the younger placed the papers on the food try. Lucas didn't say word as he left. Jisung just stared at the papers. He could make his name out in Chenle's handwriting. Suddenly he wasn't feeling so good. Jungwoo placed the wretched sheets on his lap before nodding. Taeyong sat on the foot of the bed. Neither of them spoke. Jisung bit his lip as he picked up the first one. In big black letters was written "READ ME FIRST." Shaking his head Jisung did as instructed. Just scanning the page made his heart drop. Reading the letter once over made his eyes water. Reading it a third time made them fall. Jisung moved his head away from his doctor as he tried to wipe them. Setting the letter down gently he picked up the second one. His heart dropped as his chest clenched. The pain was back and it was killing him. There was hundreds of things Jisung wanted to tell Chenle in that moment. 

  
"Why did you have to hurt me?" 

  
"I just wanted to help you." 

  
"This isn't the first time." 

  
"Please don't hurt yourself." 

  
"Please don't beat yourself up over this." 

  
"I'm scared of what you're capable of." 

  
"I wanna be by your side till the end of time." 

  
"I need you just as much as you need me." 

  
"I'll protect you from yourself Lele. I promise with all my heart."   
  
  
They were both good and bad things. Jisung wanted to get everything off his chest but he couldn't. He didn't have the confidence to confront Chenle. Especially in both of their conditions. Jisung could feel his throat swelling shut the longer he thought of the older boy. He shouldn't panic but here he was. Before either doctor or nurse could react, Jisung had crawled across the bed and into Taeyongs lap. Taeyong hugged the boy as he rubbed comforting circles into his back. Jungwoo left the room in hopes of finding a certain Chinese doctor. Taeyong wasn't sure why Jisung was having back to back anxiety attacks. Usually they only occurred once in a while if everything became to much. It confused him. When he finally managed to calm him down Taeyong offered to spend the night in case the boy needed him. Jisung nodded before crawling back over to his pillow. Taeyong held a sad smile as he looked the boy over. He felt helpless. He couldn't do anything to help the boy besides being there. Jisung was grateful to the older boy even if he never voiced it. Jisung held his arms out towards Taeyong. Taeyong knew he could get fired but Kun would throw his life down to protect all of them. It was the unspoken rule between the eleven staff that looked after the boys. They'd stand up for one another and throw their lives down no matter what. The boys never voiced their opinions on the staff but they were one in the same. They'd do anything to protect each other. Eighteen lives that morphed into one over years of working and living together. Taeyong smiled at his thoughts. They really were like a family. A messed up family, but family none the less. Jisung sniffled as he was pulled close to Taeyong. He was scared to sleep but he had his care taker by his side so he'd try. 

  
"I promise I'm fine. I really am." Jisung thought as he drifted off.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Total Word Count: 1394


	12. I Can't Breath With You by My Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung can still picture his childhood as if he never left it. Maybe being around others isn't so bad after facing life or death.

**_-Jisung's pov-_ **

  
Jisung was startled when his name was suddenly called. He whipped around only to be met by a shorter boy. His eyes widen as he realized he wasn't wearing a shirt. Taeyong had brought him some clothes to change into only minutes ago. 

  
"Chenle what are you doing here?" Jisung instinctively backed away. 

  
"Kun said I should go for a walk to stretch my legs." Chenle wasn't looking at him. He was looking at the scars that littered Jisungs torso. "When did you get those?" Jisungs mouth felt like someone had stitched it closed. "Jisung? D-did I do those?" He couldn't run anywhere. He was cornered again as Chenle ran a finger over some of the bigger scars. 

  
"Y-yes." Chenles hand froze as his head dropped. "B-but I know it was by accident. You weren't aware of what was going on." Jisung swallowed as cold fingers traced the largest scar. It trailed from his top left rib down to his bell button. 

  
"When? How?" Chenle wouldn't meet the younger's eyes. 

  
"Similar to what happened yesterday. The only difference was that my door was locked so no one could get in." Jisung looked at the doorway behind Chenle. "I tried to stop you from....well....ending it but you were quicker than I thought. You smashed a dinner plate and whipped around but I was too close. The shard was fairly large and was driven into my torso. When I tried to remove it, it only dug deeper and made the gash worse." Chenles hand dropped. "Jaehyun managed to get you restrained along with Kun and Johnny. You didn't remember anything after waking up. I forced everyone to keep it a secret. I didn't want to hurt you." Fear crept into Jisung as Chenle slowly lifted his head. Anger filled his eyes. 

  
"Why would you keep  _this_  from me!?" Chenle motioned to the scar.

  
"Because I knew it would break you." Jisung pushed his back against the wall. 

  
"What about the other ones?" Chenle only stepped further. 

  
"They were caused by y-you." He knew Chenle could snap at any second. He was a ticking bomb. After all they both were. 

  
"You should've told me Jisung! I would've stayed away." 

  
"I didn't want you to stay away! I kept this from you for this reason!" His throat felt scratchy while his mouth was going dry. "I can't lose you just because you hurt me once or twice."

  
"This isn't once or twice Park Jisung. That's two years worth of harm on your body! And it's because of me!" Chenle's voice grew louder as he spoke. "God I'm stupid!" Jisung flinched.

  
"N-no you're not. it was an accident Lele!" 

  
"Don't Lele me. It doesn't matter if it's an accident or not. I still did it. I can still do it. And I might do it in the future." The room was becoming too small. Jisung needed Taeyong. Now. Chenle suddenly gripped his arms.

  
"Chenle l-let me g-go." Deep breaths, deep breaths, deep breaths. Jisung kept repeating the phrase over and over. It wasn't working. Chenle was mumbling something incoherent as his grip tightened. "C-chenle please let me go." Jisung wasn't sure what to do. Here he was with his back pressed to a wall while someone a year older held him in place by his arms. He's not sure when Taeyong will be back. He can't scream for help. His anxiety is back and it's killing him. 

  
"It's my fault. It's always my fault. I don't deserve you. You deserve someone better." Chenle wouldn't stop talking. Jisung could feel his nails digging into his skin. 

  
"Chenle!" The boys head snapped up at his name. Why were the others here? 

  
"Fuck off Mark." 

  
"Let him go." Jisung looked to the others for help. 

  
"No. No I can't. He'll run away." Jisung could feel small trickles of blood run down his arm from Chenle's nails. "I don't want him to be scared of me." 

  
"You're only going to scare him the longer you keep him cornered." Renjun looked the situation over as Mark and Donghyuck tried to defuse the problem. 

  
"You're lying!" Jisung began thrashing against the other trying to shrink in on himself. His head was clouded. 

  
"Chenle. I'll give you one last chance before you do something you'll regret." Chenle shook his head. He couldn't let go. The voices kept telling him Jisung would run far and never look back. He couldn't risk that. 

  
"Jeno." Before either boy could blink Chenle was being tackled by Jeno as Jaemin pulled Jisung towards the opposite wall. As the two sat with Jisung hiding slightly behind Jaemin most of the staff members came running into the room. Taeyong was by Jisungs side in seconds as the younger cried. Chenle on the other hand was being taken from the room by Kun. Renjun told the others what they had seen. 

  
Jisung never could get used to having so many people around him. After Chenle snapped Jisung wasn't allowed to be alone. The other boys were always by his side and Taeyong checked in on him once every hour. He did have to admit it was nice to fall asleep to Renjun's stories about running from the police and Mark's stories about Canada. They helped fight off his nightmares. Other days he played games with Donghyuck and Jeno. Him and Jaemin would sometimes have dance off's if they had music playing. The life he had now was much different from the one he used to have. His childhood was full of empty rooms and a house much to big for a little kid to be left alone in. If Jisung closed his eyes he could still make out every detail as if he never left. 

_  
A Five year old Jisung walks around his home. It's slightly bigger than a normal sized two story family home. Five bedrooms line the upstairs hall. His parent's room is closest to the stairs. Next to his parent's room is their father's home office. The guest room sits to the left of the office. Across from the office sits the main bathroom. On the right side is Jisung's room and on the left is his older brothers. Jisungs older brother was like the prince of the house. He got whatever he wanted and whenever. His room looked like it belonged in a palace. Jisungs room on the other hand only housed a bed and a dresser. His room in the hospital was a hundred times better. The small boy walked downstairs in search of his family. It wouldn't matter since they had most likely left him alone once again. His mother would most likely be home within the next two hours if he was lucky. Jisung walked into the kitchen and grabbed the first thing he could reach. A box of cereal from the pantry. Quickly eating, he resealed the box and put it back. Hearing a key unlocking the front door caused the boy to rush upstairs and back to his room. Closing his door silently as to not catch any unwanted attention. Jisung climbed into his makeshift bed and pulled the covers over his head. He was struggling to breath. He didn't know what was wrong with him. Was he dying?_

_  
Four years later and Jisung suffers from back to back anxiety attacks as his parents scream at him. His brother had told them that Jisung ate a piece of the cake. Jisung didn't know they had cake in the kitchen. His parent's leave him locked in his room for the third time that day as they bring his brother out for dinner. It feels like hours before Jisung thinks he hears the front door opening again. His breathing becomes rigged as foot steps make their way to his room. His pulse picks up rapidly as he looks around the room for somewhere to hide. There isn't. His door is kicked in as he stares at the new comers with dough like eyes. He doesn't recognize them. A guy approaches him slowly before kneeling before him._

_  
"My name's Taeyong. I'm here to bring you somewhere safe." Taeyong held his hand out. Jisung didn't move. "It's okay. We can wait until you feel comfortable with me." With that Taeyong sat and pulled a coloring book out from behind him along with a small bag of crayons. "You can color if you want to." Jisung eyed the book and crayons before slowly taking them. Taeyong smiled at the small boy. An hour passed before Jisung felt comfortable with the stranger. Taeyong didn't speak much but he did check up on the boy ever once in a while. Jisung tugged at the elders shirt. Taeyong looked down. "Ready to go?" Jisung nodded before yawning. Once they arrived at the hospital Taeyong explained to him why he was there._

_  
"You're neighbors called Child Protective Services. They contacted the hospital after looking into the call. They told us that you have extreme anxiety as well as terrible nightmares." Jisung nodded as he doodled on a piece of paper. Taeyong looked at the paper. Jisung had drawn the two of them._

  
In the seven years Jisung had spent in the hospital he hardly talked. The only people he talked to were Taeyong and Chenle. Chenle became his go to person when he arrived two years ago. Now Jisung sat in his room staring at a wall covered in drawings and pictures. The one that caught his eye was the one taken on his birthday last year. In the photo him and Chenle were holding up peace signs after Chenle had smeared icing on his cheek. 

  
"I can't breath with you by my side. Yet at the same time I'll die with you gone." Jisung had his first nightmare filled night after weeks.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I had an anxiety attack while writing this shit at 3am. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Total Word Count: 1635


	13. One in the Same Yet so Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenos mental state finally slips and he's left bleeding out as a result.

**_-Jeno's pov-_ **

Being cuffed to a hospital bed wasn't anything new. Having two guards standing on other side of his door didn't bother him. Being pumped full of sedatives had become the norm. To most the eighteen year old was normal. He smiled and laughed. Played games with his friends. Cuddled with his lover whenever they got the chance. And enjoyed movie nights with people. Behind closed doors he was the complete opposite. He lashed out with anything he could get his hands on. Harming others was equal to breathing in his world. His mind had become hyper focused on two people. It led him to obsession and was now leading him down the path of insanity. He wasn't sure when his life became like this. His life before the hospital was merely fuzzy memories at best. He never questioned it. He was there for a reason and he accepted it. Doyoung questioned him countless times as to why he lashed out at the staff member. He gave the same response. 

  
"He hurt what belongs to me." None of the staff were surprised. They were reminded on a weekly basis to leave him and Renjun alone. They were the most dangerous duo among the patients. Especially when together. One wasn't afraid to harm while the other could kill without remorse. What had transpired with the staff member wasn't the first nor would it be the last. Jeno wasn't sorry he had killed the guy. He deserved it. Upsetting what belonged to him was one thing but touching him was crossing the line by ten fold. He didn't care if it got him locked up in the solitary ward after today. Jaemin was safe and that was all that mattered. 

  
A week had passed between then and now. Jeno sighed as he walked around the room. There wasn't much to do within the small hospital room. Doyoung was supposed to be checking up on him shortly but something came up so now he was stuck waiting for the newbies. As if on cue Ten and Yuta entered. Yuta stopped near the door whereas Ten made his way over to the younger. 

  
"Are you ready to speak?" Jeno shook his head and eyed the food tray behind the shorter male. A nurse must have stopped by at some point. "You can't keep silent forever you know. If you don't tell us we can always ask Jaemin." At the sound of the younger boy Jenos head whipped around.

  
"Keep him out of this. I did it on my own." 

  
"Still doesn't change why it happened. We need a reason Jeno. I'm not afraid of you or anyone. If I need to I'll ask around." Jeno couldn't risk anyone upsetting Jaemin more. It was one thing to ask if he was okay. But it was pushing it too far to force him to answer. Jeno wasn't stupid. Crazy? More than he'd like to admit. He lunged for the scalpel that was sat on the food tray. Tens eyes widen. Thankfully Yuta was faster in pulling Ten out of the way. Jeno took it as a chance to run. He didn't stop till he reached Jaemins room. Slipping the medical instrument into his jacket pocket. Jeno didn't think much about the silence that hung in the air. His instincts kicked in the second the door was open however. He could see Jaemin stumbling around his room with a hand wrapped around his throat. Without wasting a second Jeno was by his side pulling him into a back hug. He gently removed Jaemins hand as he spoke.

  
"Jaem breath. Your baby's here ." 

  
"Jeno?" The boy in  question hummed as the younger spun around. 

  
"I missed you." Jeno planted a kiss on Jaemins lips. To say he was angry when Ten entered was understatement. 

  
"This mother fucker tried to stab me!" He could feel Jaemin stiffen. Once Yuta and Doyoung had entered they began conversing. Jeno simply ignored them in favor of pulling Jaemin closer and burying his face into the boys neck. He wasn't very fawned of them trying to pull him away. After a few threats and convincing, the three males finally left. That night was spent trying to calm Jaemin down. The following morning was uneventful as Jaemin refused to get out of bed. Jeno wasn't complaining as he got to cuddle with his lover. Much to both boys dismay Doyoung had come back to get Jeno. Much to the older boys surprise it wasn't him that talked the doctor into giving up for the day. Jenos threats and screams barely registered on Doyoungs mind. What did have an affect was Jaemins crying and pleads. Upsetting Jaemin was nothing compared to upsetting Jungwoo. Yeah one was insane but the other knew how to dispose of a body to everyone's horror. 

  
No one wanted to know what the literal embodiment of cuteness did before working at the hospital. The thought alone scared them stiff. 

  
Something snapped in Jeno on the third day. Renjun had been sent to try and coax them apart. However it only ended in disaster. Jeno had suddenly locked the three of them in Jaemins room. Jaemin and Renjun hadn't thought much of it at first seeing as it wasn't the first time. Of course usually times like these don't consist of screaming medical staff while an angry Jeno curses them out. Nor did they spend three days locked in a small space comprised of two completely insane patients and an emotionless shell. The first day wasn't very special. Jeno had his way with Jaemin while Renjun thought of a way to kill the slightly younger boy. Jeno didn't seem to mind the hostility or at least he didn't acknowledge it. When the sun rose on the second day the tension in the room had reached a new level between the three. Renjun kept to a corner of the room near the door while Jaemin tried to keep distance from Jeno. Jeno wasn't sure why the other's wanted to keep distance between them and him. He hadn't done anything new. Nor has he done anything to upset them. That's the last thing he'd ever wanna do. What he did know was that Renjun was extremely quiet and Jaemin seemed to be looking to the eldest of the trio for comfort. 

  
"What am I doing wrong!?" Jaemin visibly flinched at Jeno's sudden outburst. Acting on instinct, Renjun pulled the taller boy as close to him as possible. They've seen Jeno lash out at towards others. They all have. But in the five years Renjun and the three years Jaemin had been there they NEVER were the focus or cause. This was something new and they didn't know how to react.

  
"Jeno...what are you talking about?" Renjun watched as the other slowly turned towards them.  

  
"I'm talking about this." Jeno waved his hand sporadically through the air. Jeno marched towards the duo placing a hand in his jacket pocket. He hissed as his finger pressed against the hidden blade. 

  
"Baby!" Jaemin's eyes widen as small droplets of blood splattered across the floor. Jeno seemed un-phased by the cut as he drew his hand out. 

  
" _Don't_   _baby me_." Jeno glared at Jaemin as he reached for Jeno's bleeding finger. Jaemin shrunk further into Renjun if that was even possible. Jaemin hated being spoken to like he was someones problem. And that's exactly how Jeno was speaking to him. "My god you'd think you two were  _dating_." A bitter laugh filled the room.

  
" _Technically_  we are Jeno." If looks could kill Jeno would be six feet under. "All  _three_ of us." 

  
"Last time I checked you  _didn't care_  about either of us Renjun. You were merely  _using_  Jaemin for your own  _pleasures_." Jeno stepped closer as his grip tightened on the small metallic object. 

  
" _Correction_. I'm _incapable_  of feeling anything remotely close to _love_  but I do still have basic  _human feelings_." Renjun huffed as he rolled his eyes. 

  
"Oh really now?" Jeno was challenging Renjun. Something they did whenever they fought over the "alpha" status within the trio. Jeno always won but he was losing control over the older boy quickly. 

  
"I  _can_  cry, laugh, smile, be mad, or sad, or happy. I  _choose_  to  _hide_  them just like everyone else around here." Renjun released Jaemin as he stood in front of the younger boy. "Now back down before this gets ugly Jeno." 

  
"The only one backing down will be you Huang." Jeno's pupils had dilated drastically since his first out burst. "You're taking Jaemin from me! He doesn't want me anymore he wants you!" A barely audible whimper sounded from behind Renjun at the mention of Jaemins name. Jaemin was scared to see where this would go next. 

  
"I'm not taking anyone from you! You were on lock down and Jaemin wanted some attention. I turned him down Jeno! I told him to leave me alone and to go entertain himself!" Jaemin couldn't handle the situation any longer. He yanked on Renjun's shirt catching the boys attention. After a few hours of just sitting around the room Jeno had suddenly become overly happy as he began speaking to no one in particular. Jeno suddenly froze at the sound of Jaemin crying. Oh god his baby was upset and it was all his fault. Without wasting a second Jeno was pulling Jaemin into a hug. He should've know something was wrong when Renjun didn't respond. He should've pulled away the second Jaemins hand slipped from his neck to his pocket. But he'd be damned if he didn't love holding the younger boy. To bad it could kill him in  the end. Jeno's eyes widen as a sharp pain rippled through his lower abdomen. He was even more shocked to hear Jaemins innocent giggle ghost over his ear. 

  
"Honey we're all ticking time bombs. You aren't the only one capable of murder." Jeno's head began spinning as blood drenched his shirt and the floor. He tried to look down to see where the blood was coming from. He was unsuccessful as Jaemin still held a firm grip on the back of his neck. Jeno could see from the corner of his eye that Renjun wasn't going to help him. He just stood and unlocked the door before looking in their direction. Within seconds of his shirt and skin becoming sticky from the scarlet liquid, he knew it was his blood. Jeno couldn't process what was happening. He coughed up a small bit of blood as it dribbled down his lip. Had he not been on the verge of backing out he would've tried to get an answer from Jaemin. In the end he was left with an empty kiss as he stumbled before blacking out as others rushed in.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I wasn't planning on this chapter to be so long but I guess it worked out in the end. I won't have to write three like I did with Hyuck.
> 
> Shout out to all the comments saying how they've enjoyed the story so far and how they like my writing. You guys have definitely helped with my confidence. This is a new writing style for me on top of subjects I've never written about. I'd also like to say thanks to the readers as well as those who have voted and commented in general. I wouldn't have the courage to continue writing without all of you. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Total Word Count: 1802


	14. Obsession Can Lead to Murder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeno has a nightmare that leads to repressed memories being rediscovered. Doyoung hands him two files regarding his admission within the hospital.

**_-Jeno's pov-_ **

_Jeno didn't have nightmares often. He never really dreamed to be honest. But on those nights every once in a blue moon he would dream of a faceless figure standing before him. They would exchange a few words but he could never quite catch what was being said. Before the dream could go any further everything around him would begin to seep into a rusty red color. His mind couldn't process what was happening. One moment he's in a colorful land of silence and the next everything's distorted with sounds only found in horror movies. Crows cawing as wing fluttered around him. Violent winds whipping around him before carrying his name off into the distance. He'd turn towards the source of the voice only to see the once fairy tale setting swallowed by a blanket of flower petals. Jeno raised an eye brow as he followed the trail. As he walked he could recognize a few flowers here and there. Yellow and dark red roses caught his attention. Grief, sorrow, and loyalty. Jeno didn't dwell on the meaning as he continued on. The flowery path abruptly ended as he glanced up. Before him stood a small boy with light brown hair._

_  
"Jaemin..." The name sounded so foreign on his tongue. The small boy turned at the call of his name. However something wasn't right. The small boy before him wasn't his Jaemin. the boy was holding a bouquet of White Carnations. The boy was to happy. To content on just standing in the shadows. His Jaemin wasn't like this. His craved attention. He was never happy unless someone flirted back with him. He feared the shadows. Jeno reached towards the small figure. Before he was able to grab on, the boy had shifted to a version of Jaemin Jeno was familiar with. A cocky grin and playful words. Wondering hands and flirtatious eyes. The bouquet was now dried up and lay limp on the floor between their feet._        

 _  
An innocence and love that was once untainted now lay broken and used. Touched by sin, left to rot._  

 _  
The scene changed again. Only this time Jeno wasn't surrounded by pedals nor was Jaemin standing before him. Instead the faceless figure from before was before him. A strong gust of wind passed carrying pedals belonging to Yellow Hyacinths and Yellow Carnations. When he looked back at the figure his eyes widen. Renjun was now standing before him holding two flowers._  

_  
Jealousy was a common thing among the three of them especially when it came to the older two. Disdain, disappointment, and rejection was what his and Renjun's relationship was built on._

_  
Jeno wasn't expecting blood to suddenly coat his hand or to pour from Renjuns mouth. He hadn't even realized he had driven a knife threw him till it was to late. Jeno stared in horror as he had no control over his actions. His horror only grew the longer the Chinese boy stayed still and stared at him so emotionless. As if he was a doll and nothing more._    

  
Jeno shot up in bed as cold sweat coated his body. His hospital cloths clung to his skin as he gritted his teeth. The pain from the stab wound only making itself more prominent the longer he remained in a sitting position. His head felt as if someone was pounding it with a fifty pound hammer. The heart monitor next to him began beeping irregularly notifying  an on call nurse. Said nurse rushed into the room scanning the multitude of screens. Her eyes landed on the boy before her causing her facial features to soften. She didn't speaking nor address him. The nurse simply checked his vitals before bowing slightly and leaving. Jeno tried to move to the edge of the bed but was forced to bite back a strangled cry. He's been in plenty of fights. Ranging from simple school yard fights to bloody fist fights. Sometimes a pocket knife or two would end up in the mix. But the pain he felt then and there could've been equal to death itself. Just as he was about to try again a hand gently pushed against his chest forcing him to lay back down. Jeno didn't need to look up nor speak in order to tell who it was. He merely adverted his eyes to the opposite wall as Doyoung changed the bloody gauze. 

  
"Are you ready to take about Jaemin?"

  
"You'll have to kill me first." 

  
"Okay then how about why you're here?" 

  
Jeno slowly turned his head towards the older. He slowly nodded his head as a file was placed on his lap. He opened the card stock like file as his eyes widen. There wasn't much to look at. Medical sheets, court records, both police and eye witness statements were all the file contained. However there was nothing going into detail on why he was there. Jeno read over each sheet slowly. Once. Twice. Hundred times yet nothing made sense. Countless number of charges pressed against him. Stalking, evasion of privacy, harassment, assault, and so many other things. Medical evaluations claiming him as clinically insane, borderline obsessive and possessive. The statements claimed him to be emotionless and indifferent to those around him. That he was hyper focused on one classmate, going as far as to hurt those who got to close to said classmate. Jeno's eyes shot to a news paper clipping as Doyoung placed it on his lap. He quickly picked it up before reading the article. The first things that catch his eyes were the title and the opening sentences.  _'Parks Mourn the Loss of Twelve Year Old Son.'_   _"A fatal incident claims the life of twelve year old Park Dae-Hyun on Tuesday, March 21, 2012. The seventh grader was suddenly attacked by fellow classmate Lee Jeno after a love confession gone wrong. Eye witnesses claim to have seen Mr. Lee pull an object from his pocket before fatally stabbing Dae-Hyun multiple times in the lower abdomen. No ones fully sure what occurred between the two as many claimed they never interacted within school grounds."_

  
Jenos headache grew the longer he read. He doesn't remember ever hurting anyone outside the hospital. He knew he had issues with being possessive but he never thought of himself as being obsessive or insane. The longer he thought about everything the dizzier he became till he couldn't handle it anymore. Jeno set the clipping down as he closed his eyes. His nightmare had begun playing out once again behind his eyelids. Only this time it was a memory long since repressed to the depths of his subconscious.  

_  
Jeno was in front of the figure once again. As he looked the figure over from head to toe he could tell they were the same age. The boy before him had jet black hair with faded purple streaks scattered through his hair. His eyes were a lovely shade of caramel that made Jenos mouth water. The slightly older boy also had fare skin. It paled compared to his own but that's what made it beautiful. Jeno could go on admiring the other boy but he was on a mission._

_  
"Dae-Hyun!" The boy in question turned towards Jeno as he grew closer._

_  
"Uh hi....Jeno right?"_

_  
"Mhmm." Jeno was on cloud nine. His crush knew his name._

_  
"What can I do for you?" A small smile formed on the older's lips._

_  
"Well um....I was wondering if you maybe...um wanted to go out with me this weekend or something?"_

_  
"Go out? Like a date?"_

_  
"Y-yeah." Dae-Hyun's smile faulted as he broke out into fits of giggles._

_  
"Why would I go on a date with you?"_

_  
"Why not?" Jeno wasn't expecting to be turned down. He was in the top three hottest guys in his grade. Hell in his whole school. Every girl and guy was after him. So why wasn't his crush?_

_  
"Cause I don't swing that way. I'm not a faggot dude. I only date chicks end of the story." Dae-Hyun's giggles had grown into a full force laugh._

_  
"Just give me a try please? You never know."_

_  
"Dude leave me alone. I want nothing to do with weirdos like you. You guys are the scum of the earth." Dae-Hyun had started to turn away but was halted by Jeno's hand on his wrist._

_  
"Why can't you just cooperate!? I spent a year stalking you and carefully planning this day out. Hell I even put extra effort into getting rid of potential threats." Jeno sighed as he grew frustrated. "I just want to be happy! I deserve to be just as happy as everyone else! Why won't you just accept my confession!?" Jeno's outburst had shocked Dae-Hyun as he struggled to escape. However Jeno's grip only tightened the more he struggled. Dae-Hyun could tell Jeno was unstable by the look in his eyes as he scanned his face for anything. He knew there was a very little chance of him making it out unscathed. As a last ditch effort Dae-Hyun used his free hand to grab Jenos collar, pulling the slightly taller boy into a kiss. Jeno wasn't fond of the forced empty kiss. He wanted it to be true and meaningful. Alas it wasn't. Jeno didn't hesitate to pull the pocket knife from his pocket. He didn't care that they were in public or on school grounds. If anything he simply looked at the now bleeding boy with nothing but boredom. He'd just have to find another where ever he ends up. Jeno yanked the blade from the boys abdomen and repetitively jabbed it back in. He didn't bother to count the number of wounds that were left afterwards. Instead he took off in a random direction. That night he gave into sin and lost everything. He wasn't innocent. Nor was he sane._

  
Jeno was snapped out of his memory as a nurse placed flowers on the nightstand. Yellow Hyacinths, Yellow and White Carnations, along with Yellow and dark red roses sat in the vase. Jeno's eyes widen as he quickly looked away. Doyoung looked at him worriedly before handing him a second folder. It held more detailed documents on the incident along with his case within the hospital. On the front side Jeno noticed five words written in bright red letters;

  
"OBSESSION CAN LEAD TO MURDER."  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to @littlelottie_x   
> She's my new friend and she's got a really amazing story about Norenmin called Ghost Cuddles. Go check it out cause the first three chapters are really good. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Total Word Count: 1719


	15. I Can't Live Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark becomes worried after Donghyuck takes off. He becomes numb once he finds the redhead.

_**-Marks pov-** _

  
When Donghyuck had taken off suddenly Mark was worried. Really worried. The younger never ran off especially in times like this. They were always glued together even if Mark had to pretend he didn't like the other. After a few seconds of stunned silence he took off after the red head. Running down the corridors and checking every nook and cranny within the ward left him breathless. He couldn't find Donghyuck no matter how many people he asked or how many times he rechecked everything. He was gone. There was only one thing left to do and that was to ask Kun or Taeil. Mark Shuttered at the thought. He was gonna get hell for losing the younger. The nineteen year old ran for the main desk. Thankfully Taeil was still filling out some reports. 

  
"Taeil I need a list of every empty or nearly empty place within the hospital." 

  
"Well hello to you too Mark." 

  
"Just answer my question." 

  
"Okay. The medical wing is currently empty and then there's the empty West Ward." Taeil slowly stood as he spoke. "Did you lose Donghyuck?"

  
"Send as many staff to the West Ward as you can." Mark booked it to the empty ward. He knew Donghyuck wouldn't go within fifty yards of the medical wing. He didn't pay mind to any of the questions flying towards him as he ran. A deep sigh filled his ears as Taeils voice sounded through the halls. Once he finally reached his destination he looked through every room he passed. By this point his hearing was full of rushing blood, rapid heart beats, and labored breathing. Mark came to an abrupt halt. Out of the twenty or so rooms lining the walls only one had a closed door. Turning to the door he tried to open it. Panic filled his veins as the door remained closed. It was locked. He tried ramming his shoulder into the door but nothing seemed to make it budge. Well that was till Johnny kicked the door in. Mark didn't have time to register what was going on. All that filled his mind was the image of his sun bleeding out while hunched over against the wall. Mark couldn't hear his name being called nor did he register hands grabbing at him. He needed to get to Donghyuck. His precious Haechan.  Mark knew he should've let the others tend to the teen but he couldn't bring himself to walk away. He collapsed onto his knees as he gently placed a hand on either cheek.

  
"Hyuck look at me." Mark felt like he was drowning. He rubbed small circles into the younger's cheeks. Donghyucks head lulled to the side. This isn't good. 

  
"Mark you need to leave him. Kun and the others will be here any minute with medical equipment." 

  
"We don't have minutes Taeyong! For fucks sake we don't even have seconds!" He didn't mean to lash out. He was terrified from thoughts that filled his head. Gently tilting Donghyucks head upright gave him a chance to ignore the anger that burned within him. 

  
"Mark..." Mark was lost in his own world by this point.

  
"Baby look at me. Please Hyuck you can't leave me," Mark could just make out the slightest flutter of lashes as Donghyuck tried to open his eyes, "I love you too much to let you go just like that. Baby you need to hold on and pull through." He could feel the blood drenching his jeans. He didn't care. 

  
"I love you too." 

  
Mark was numb. Johnny was forced to drag him away from the scene. He didn't put up a fight. There wasn't anything worth fighting for if he lost his everything. 

  
Three days. It took three days for Donghyuck to wake up. Three days of him refusing to leave his side. He didn't eat and only slept for a total of three hours. Why was everything coming in threes? Now that he thinks back, that's how everything was when it came to Donghyuck. Three weeks after meeting, the younger agreed to be friends. Three months later they began dating. Three years of never leaving the smaller boy alone. Another three years before Donghyuck could fully trust him with his life. They'd know each other for eight years yet nothing seemed odd about their relationship. They were either seen together or not at all. Marks eyes snapped open as the hand he was holding pulled from his grasp. Without thinking he pulled Donghyuck into a kiss. Mark chuckled as confusion shown on the latters face before pulling him into a more passionate kiss this time.

  
"Let the boy breath Lee." Jaehyun walked into the room.

  
"Only because you can kick me out. Literally." Mark sat back down in his chair as he played with the younger's fingers.

  
"Uh good morning to you too?" Donghyuck was still dazed from his sleep.

  
"It's good to see you're awake after three days." Jaehyun smiled softly as he looked at Donghyuck. "You're really lucky Mark found you when he did."

  
"H-how did you find me?" Mark smiled sadly .

  
"I know you like empty spaces to escape to when life becomes to much so I asked if there were any places like that in the hospital. Funny enough there was only two. The back hall you were in and the emergency hall that wasn't being used at that time." Mark was looking Donghyucks arm over. "Figured you knew better than to enter the medic hall. Guess I was right." Jaehyun ran a few tests after checking Donghyucks injuries. Mark ended up spending almost all of his free time with the younger. Once said boy was released Mark made his way to Donghyucks room. He didn't waste a second in gripping the youngers hips tightly before trailing kisses along his neck. 

  
"Mark."

  
"I missed you." Mark mumbled around the kisses.

  
"Jaemin had his tongue down Jeno's throat didn't he?"

  
"Maybe." He could hear the redhead sigh.

  
"Can you not be horny for once?"

  
"Can you stop rivaling the sun?" He suddenly spun Donghyuck around.

  
"What?"

  
"Sorry thought we were stating facts." He'd always loved the shorter boys sarcasm. 

  
"I'm not in the mood Lee. Jeno might be willing to lend Jaemin to you if you beg hard enough." Mark was confused as the younger pushed him away. What had he done wrong? As he followed after the latter one of the nurses stopped him. 

  
"Mark can you find Jaemin for me? Jungwoo's looking for him and I'm in a hurry." 

  
"Oh..Um....Okay.." As he spoke Mark eyed the hall up and down. 

  
"Thanks! He'll know where to go once you tell him." With that the nurse was gone. Mark quickly made his way to the common room. It didn't take him long to find the boy in question as he marched over to the couch. Mark quickly jabbed Jeno as he cleared his throat. 

  
"Jungwoo's looking for Jaemin." With that Jaemins head snapped up. 

  
"Ugh why now of all times." Jeno eyed Jaemin then Mark then back to the younger. 

 

"Jaem go see what he wants. Neither of us needs to be getting in trouble right now." Jaemin simply nodded before standing an latching onto Marks arm. Normally Mark would shove the younger off but he didn't have time right now to deal with this. 

  
"Please tell me you guys were only making out and nothing more." Renjun entered with the youngest two.

  
"Ding we have a winner!" Jaemin giggled as him and mark started for the exit. Marks head snapped towards his right just as him and Jaemin reached the door.  He could hear all to familiar screaming. 

  
"I take back what I said! I'll let you p-play with me. I'll be good I promise. Please j-just don't le-leave me!" The screaming didn't stop as he could see tears forming. He instantly dropped Jaemins arm as Donghyuck fell to his knees covering his ears. The others came barging in as he ran for the younger. "Don't leave me Mark! I'll behave and listen."

  
"Hyuck!?" Mark didn't waste a second in wrapping the smaller boy up in his arms. He's never seen his full sun break outside the comfort of their rooms. Mark knew it had to be something serious for Donghyuck to react like this. Screaming and crying? That's normal. Begging him to stay and use him? The last time he heard those words was when they first met nearly eight years ago. "Baby look at me." Mark pulled him closer as he shook his head. "I'm not leaving you. I promised to stay be your side didn't I? I was there through all the nightmares. Through all the episodes. And I'm staying for the future ones as well." The screaming and sobbing had finally come to an end. Hiccups and sniffling was all that remained. Everyone was frozen from shock. They'd never seen this side to the duo.

  
"I-I'm scared."

  
"And that's okay baby everyone is." Mark knew what calmed his lover down. The problem? They weren't alone. Mark could tell Donghyuck was beginning to panic. "Donghyuck look me in the eye and focus on only me." Mark rubbed small circles into his thigh as his breathing calmed down. Eyes widen as Mark placed a few kisses along Donghyucks neck.

  
"Dude don't think this is the place or time." Donghyuck giggled at Jeno's comment.

  
"You've literally screwed Jaemin on the couch."

  
"Dude!"

  
"I mean he ain't wrong." Jaemin shrugged before smiling. "The suns smiling again!" He was right. Donghyuck had a small smile on his face.

  
"Shut up Jaemin." Mark smiled as Donghyuck hid his face in his chest.

  
"How you feeling?" The boy's smile grew larger. "I'll take that as better." Mark raked the others hair. As the others continued to bicker Mark couldn't help but to smile softly. Once everyone had finally stopped talking Donghyuck offered to tell everyone why he was there. As the younger of the two finished his story Mark couldn't help but to pull him as close as possible. Donghyuck was crying and it broke his heart. 

  
Weeks had passed since then. Mark smiled down at the redhead as he lay between his legs. They were currently curled up on the groups new couch. The couple had decided on binge watching some horror movies since they were bored. Donghyuck smiled as a kisses was pressed to his temple.

  
"I love you."  
  
  
"I love you more. Always have and always will." His heart swelled as Donghyuck smiled at him. They were happy and that's all that mattered.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been 84 years.....but I'm finally back. Fuck Mark for making my creativity run out. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :) 
> 
> Total Word Count: 1766


	16. Habits Can Lead to Compulsion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marks most recent relapse makes him realize he needs to get help.

_**-Mark's pov-** _

Mark had never told anyone why he wore sleeved shirts. He never told the others why he constantly held Donghyucks hands no matter what they were doing. They didn't need to know about the patches lining his arms. They didn't need to know about the nights he spent being pinned to his bed as he grew paranoid. Or when he tried to claw his skin off. To everyone around them he was the most normal. Except he was just as crazy.

  
Mark was mumbling as he paced around his room. His skin felt like it was on fire. But no matter what he did the pain wouldn't go away. His shirt was long forgotten by this point as he clawed at his arms. He'd promised to stop. He lied. If anyone were to see his arms they'd feel sick. They were coated in patches ranging in all shades of reds and whites. He'd scratched the skin off till it bled in some spots while others were merely the first layer of skin. He hated his arms. He hated how he grew paranoid the longer he went without scratching. It was killing him....literally. A loud grunt filled his room as his back hit the wall. His eyes landed on the shorter redhead who was mumbling. He couldn't make out the words. His head begun spinning as ice cold towels were placed on his arms. The burning began to settle only slightly at the sensation. His mind began to calm as freezing hands replaced the towels. They gently ran up and down his arms as lips connected with his.

  
Mark was celebrating his tenth year within the hospital. He couldn't remember much of his life before this one. He had been admitted when he was nine. Mark sighed as memories flashed before him.

_  
A six year old boy wandered around his back yard. There wasn't much to do in his home back in Vancouver. It was just some small two bedroom house with an equally as small yard. He had a few toys to play with but hardly any compared to the other kids. As he was about to sit under the overgrown oak tree his mother called for him._

_  
"Mark sweetie the guests are here!" Mark frowned._

_  
"Coming mother!" He hated strangers. They made his arms itchy and head hurt. Taking his time he re-entered the living room through the back double doors. Why'd his parents want to throw some get together? They had more important things to deal with. As he made his way towards the kitchen he could feel the all to familiar itching that coated his arms. Thankfully his mother had let him wear an oversized sleeved shirt today. Slipping his hands into each sleeve he began itching the skin. This habit of his had begun when he was fairly young. Whenever he became nervous or scared he'd subconsciously scratch at his arms. Now it only occurred when he was forced to meet people outside the comfort of his parents._

_  
As the day progressed his head began to throb. It felt as if someone was constantly taking a hammer to it. He couldn't stand it anymore. The small boy tugged roughly on the edge of his mother's skirt. Once.....Twice.....she looked down. The forced smile made him shutter. He hated his mothers fake smiles. He let his sleeve roll down just enough to show the new red marks. A deep sighed passed his mother's lips. He knew she was mad. She dismissed them before taking her son back to his room where she placed ice cold towels on his arms. It helped to release the itch but only for so long. By the following hour he was scratching again. But this time it was worse. Small patches had started to bleed. His parents were gonna throw a fit if he got blood anywhere._

_  
"Mark Lee!" His head snapped up at the sound of his mother's name._

_  
"Mommy I c-couldn't h-help it! I-it h-hurts!" Mark was crying._

_  
By the time he was nine he had to be taken out of school. The scratching had reached a dangerous level. He'd spend a night in the ER at least three times a month. Yet he couldn't help it. If he went to long without scratching he grew paranoid. He wasn't sure why. The doctors claimed he was faking it for attention. His parents began to believe them. He was alone. By November of that year his parents had grown tired of dealing with their son. They reached out to anyone willing to take him off their hands. They only managed to get one place to agree. And that was the hospital he currently resides in._

_  
He was admitted on November 23, 2008 under the care of assistant Doctor Moon Taeil. By the end of his first year his "habit" hand grown to be compulsion. He had to scratch. It wasn't a matter of subconscious habits. It was a need. It was a want. It was driving him insane. By his third year he'd been transferred to a new doctor. Mister Johnny Seo. They hit it off right from the start. They could be mistaken as brothers with how close they had become in such a short time. By his sixth year he had gotten worse. Both Johnny and Donghyuck were forced to spend most of their time restraining him whenever his mind slipped into a haze filled frenzy. Some nights were spent having his wrists cuffed to his bed while his arms were constantly coated in ice towels._

_  
Now he's spending his eighth year in and out of the medical wing. Mark has been diagnosed with clinical paranoia. He's been placed on multiple medications. None of which seem to be taking effect. Everyone's beginning to worry. Well except for the five teens asleep in the common room. He's been able to hide it this long....why make them worry as well? He manages to go the following year with little to no incident. It doesn't last. After Donghyuck's attempt his compulsion came back ten fold._

  
Mark pulls the younger closer as he plants a gentle kiss to the others forehead. If it weren't for the weight on his chest, the legs tangled with his, or the hot yet slow breath tickling his neck he'd lock himself in the bathroom. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. He needed to stop. He needed to get help and let others help him. He needed to get better.

  
He needed to break his compulsion and keep bad habits from controlling him.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what I'm doing anymore at this point. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Total Word Count: 1084


	17. A New Beginning Without a Second Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are thrown into an unpredictable situation and are given 48 hours to prepare. How will their new story play out?

Seoul Recovery Hospital, or Seoul Recovery, was home to five wards; Solitude, Medical, Populated, Basic Needs, and 24 Hour Watch. Each ward housed between one-hundred to one-hundred and fifty patients. They were always full of bustling doctors, residents, and nurses. However there was one ward that was closed off to the main hospital staff. 

  
This very ward housed seven patients on strict orders from the director of board. Ward X, as it had been named, was housed in a closed off section of the hospital. The director wanted to see how patients with differing backgrounds and mental statuses mixed. The eleven main staff members that had been transferred there were his most trusted. They were to play an important role in the boy's recoveries. Of course the directors plan didn't end at the mixing of patients.

  
He wished for more.

  
He wanted to see if one could take someone on the verge of self destruction and bring them back. Rework their brain in a way that would allow them to interact with society without the normal risks of unstable mental states. Sadly not everything goes perfectly. Everything has its highs and perks while also housing it's downs and dismays. Within the first ten years, the operation had seen both progression and regression. In some cases it was mere slip ups such as nightmares or old habits like crying. But for others they weren't so lucky. They were faced with triggers and relapses bringing them right back to the start.

  
A place where seven stories intertwined into a new beginning.

  
//

  
A blaring siren sounded through the ward as doors were slammed open. Some jumped, some yelped in surprise, while others groaned in protest. Sirens weren’t a common thing within their ward. Only going off in a state of emergency. A multitude of vices drifted up and down the ward coxing the sleepy teens from their warm beds.

  
Not even 20 minutes later and the seven teens were face to face with a  strange male. He wasn’t anyone they’d ever seen around the ward before. Yet the staff all treated him like royalty. Mark slipped to the front as a serious look encompassed his features. Jeno stood to his right while Renjun to his left.

  
If something were to go down, they’d go down protecting the younger four.

  
The room was full of a thick tension. No one dared to speak or move in fear of trigger something. However the once silent room was filled with a loud overly cheerful voice.

  
“Hello boys!” The stranger smiled widely. “I’m the owner of this hospital and head of the board committee. I came to discuss a serious issue at hand.” His smile vanished as his lips pulled into a thin line.

  
“And what would this, issue be, by chance?” Mark’s tone caused a few of the teens to flinch.

  
“No one’s caused any issues  _ sir _ .” Renjun practically hissed the last word as he spoke through gritted teeth.

  
“Don’t get me wrong. You’re all... _ wonderful boys _ , but we can no longer keep you chained up within these walls. I wish to send you off to school.”

  
The seven boys who’d lived, nearly all their lives, in confinement began laughing. They couldn’t believe it. Such a thought couldn’t be real. They’d spent their time being basically home schooled once they entered the hospital.

  
“School? You’re gonna send a bunch of insane, unpredictable, and dangerous teens to a school full of hundreds, if not thousands, of students? What are you? Mental?” Now it was Jaemins turn to speak. He couldn’t believe it. This so called director must be on some serious drugs if he was considering such a thing.  

  
“With all do respect Mr Na. I am not, as you put it, mental. I believe this is an amazing chance for the seven of you to get out and see the world. You’ll be able to interact with other students while staying at an off campus housing unit. It’s a ten minute walk from the school but you will have the option of transportation. You’re doctors will be on call 24 hours if there’s an emergency or if you need them for anything. You will also be monitored by watches connected to computers here. The school is small and only houses around three hundred students.” The doctor paused in his speech. Looking the small group over before nodding faintly before carrying on.

  
“You’ll be attending a boarding school with on campus guards, who are armed and trained to take down any potential threats. We have given them permission to use any means necessary to keep you and the other students safe. If at any point the staff deem any of you unsafe for public appearance, you’ll be sent back here immediately and will not be allowed a second chance. As for living on your own. You will have rules. Unless you get a job or participate in afterschool activities, you will not be allowed to roam. You will be home once school ends unless given permission from me and me only. Understood?”

  
The group merely nodded.

  
“Questions? Concerns? Speak now or forever hold your silence.”

  
No one spoke. They were in shock. The words went in one ear and were still being processed by the time the director left. What snapped them out of their so called “trance” was the sound of the rooms doors banging shut.

  
Seconds turned into minutes as the group remained still. Before either of them could speak the doors reopened as Kun stepped in while Taeil pushed a cart. Scanning the cart, the teens could make out seven backpacks, notebooks, pencils, pens, and so on.

  
“We’ll be allowing you to pick the supplies you want. You’ll be given a list of supplies you’ll need for your classes as well as your schedules.” Kun spoke as he looked the group over. “Mark will be attending as a senior alongside Renjun, Jeno, Hyuck, and Jaemin. Meanwhile Chenle you’ll be attending as a junior and Jisung a sophomore. Each of you will receive a weekly allowance of 150$ each. Spend wisely.”

  
“What about the bills?” Jisung moved out from behind Chenle as he spoke.

  
“Those are covered by the hospital. Groceries will be delivered to the house every Sunday, but if you need anything before then, you can run to the store and buy it.”

  
“Rooming situation?” Donghyuck questioned as he began fidgeting with his sleeve.     

  
“There’s seven of you and four rooms. We’ll let you decide who ends up rooming with who. You can also decide if you share a bed, want bunks, or two separate beds.” Taeil suddenly answered as he placed what appeared to be a small notebook on the cart before him. “You have 24 hours to make any important decisions regarding the living arrangements.”

  
“When do we start?” Chenles voice was barely above a whisper. 

  
“Tuesday.” With that, both Kun and Taeil made their way towards the doors. 

  
“That’s too soon!” Jeno yelled as the others jaws dropped.

  
“Not our fault. The director wanted this so we have to go by his doing.”

  
“Sorry boys.” The slamming of the doors only made the situation more real.

  
They’d be starting school in two days. A new beginning and life. How could anything possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am finally back from the dead. Sorry it took forever! I couldn't get rid of my writers block so I ended up rewriting this chapter. 
> 
> Shout out to Lottie (littlelottie_x) for beta-ing 
> 
> Thanks for reading :) 
> 
> Total Word Count: 1214


	18. Welcome to Seoul's Charter School for the Rich!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night before they're due to attend school for the first time, Jeno and Renjun seem to have a slight bicker while Mark stresses over making things perfect for them.

The group just stared at one another in utter shock. How could anyone think this was a good idea? Someone had to have been on drugs or out of it during the last meeting. Minutes passed as the cart remained untouched. Not a single one of them wanted to make a move. If they didn’t speak about it or acknowledge it then it couldn’t be true right? They couldn’t be any further from the truth. 

  
Mark was the first to move. He grabbed two random bags before shuffling through the files on the cart. He quickly, yet carefully, red the names listed on the top corners before handing them out to their respectful owners. The room still remained in silence.

  
Each individual cautiously read through the papers with their information. Class schedules, housing rules, school rules and regulations, locker numbers and codes, and lastly information regarding contacting their doctors. In Marks file a plain lined sheet of paper sat on the top. He assumed it was for the rooming arrangements.

  
“Shall we get the most important thing out of the way?” Donghyuck was the first to speak. “Are we keeping our current arrangement or does anyone wanna change it up?” The group shook their heads before speaking in unison.

  
“Keep.”

  
“Then that’s settled,” Mark nodded before sitting at one of the few tables in the room. “Everyone start getting your things set and begin packing right away. We can’t risk having anything left behind.” With that, he set to filling out the sheet.

  
A chorus of “yes” and “will do” filled the room before silence took over once again.

  
What felt like hours, seemed to pass by in a blur as the group gathered their things into an abundance of suitcases and boxes. Most of which were haphazardly labeled with initials and one or two worded descriptions. The cart had become everyone’s last minute worry as they set about checking off lists and rechecking every few minutes.

  
Five hours had passed by the time any of the teens had emerged from their rooms. Before anyone realized it, most of them had found some place in the common room to sprawl out on. Chenle and Jisung took up the two couches across from the tv as they binge watched some old time cartoon. Jaemin meanwhile was laying across Renjuns lap as the latter was set on finishing his book before packing it. Jeno on the other hand was laying on his stomach with his face buried in his arms asleep while Jaemin carded a hand through his hair.

  
Donghyuck sighed as he stood next to Mark. The elder hadn’t moved from his spot at the table. A once spotless table now covered in sheets upon sheets of paper and supplies. He gently wrapped his arms around the others shoulders as he placed a kiss to his, finger mused, hair.

  
“Mark, baby, take a break. You’ve been at this for nearly six hours.” A smile ghosted his lips as the latter leaned into his touch.

  
“I’m almost done,” as he spoke, Mark picked up the notebook Taeil had left. “Just need to go through the notebook and reorga-”

  
“Mark Lee. I say you’re done for now.” as if to prove his point, Donghyuck plucked the book from Mark’s hand before tossing it lightly onto the table. “Cuddles. Now.”

  
“Cuddles…” Mark repeated under his breath as a hand gently tugged at his arm. “I can take a break for cuddles.”

  
“Good. Now get up before I have to drag you.” Donghyuck smiled as Mark laughed.

  
“I’m moving.” With that the two made their way to Mark’s room. 

//

  
The remainder of the day went by in a flash well the following day seemed to drag on without an end.

  
The group had managed to pack their rooms up fairly quickly. Mark had managed to organize everyone’s bags and papers as well. Which meant the group was left with time to kill but nothing to do.

  
“Let’s play a game.”

  
“And what game do you recommend Chenle?”

  
“Never have I ever?”

  
“Sure.”

  
“Since you suggested it. You get to go first Jisung.”

  
Five rounds , two arguments, and one set of tears later the group had finally reached the ending to their game.

  
“Never have I ever….” Renjun looked around the small circle, “Killed someone.” 

  
“Oh c’mon on! That’s targeting.” Jeno huffed as he put his final finger down. “Jaem tell your boyfriend to stop targeting me!”

  
“We never said it was against the rules Jeno.” Jaemin eyed the older teen before continuing. “Besides you targeted him at least twice in the last round.”

  
“Damn fucking straight.” A smirk pulled at the corners of Renjuns lips as he eyed the taller male across from him. “You should listen to  _ our boyfriend _ Jeno. Don’t want him ignoring you again.” He had to bite back the laugh that bubbled up his throat at the glare directed towards him as Jaemin clung to the Chinese teen.

  
“This is fucking bullshit.” Jeno slammed his hand on the table before abruptly standing. The chair, he once sat in, went flying backwards, crashing to the floor from the sudden motion. “I’m finished playing. If you need me I’ll be in my room.” As he began walking away Jenos shoulders tensed.

  
“Jaemin,  _ baby _ , you can stay in my room tonight.” The way Renjun had said baby irritated him. Jaemin was his. “Since Mr Lee over there is being a sore loser as usual.”

  
“Jaemin, we’re leaving.” He struggled to keep his voice under control.

  
“No, I think I’m going to stay with Jun tonight.” If turning his head as quickly as he did, could snap his neck then Jeno would be dead.  

  
“Excuse me?” He couldn’t help the slight growl that slipped through.

  
“You heard him.” Jeno wanted to, oh so badly,  ~~ punch ~~ wipe the smirk off the older's face. “He’s staying with me. So be gone.” Jeno could feel the tips of his nails digging into his palms. He was quickly losing control as he watched Jaemin happily smile as Renjun pulled him into a heated kiss. But one look from Mark kept him from snapping.

  
He couldn’t risk ruining their one, no his one chance at freedom. 

  
He turned without another word and stormed from the room making sure the doors slammed behind him.    
  


//

  
With Tuesday morning came loud sirens, rushing figures, and half asleep teens. It was only 5am but the group was already done with the week. They only had an hour to get ready and grab something to eat before they were to be rushed out the door.

  
By 6am the group was in the van as their driver took them to school. Their classes would be starting by 8am. Thankfully the school had agreed to giving them an hour long tour to find their classes, lockers, and other locations of importance. An hour long drive later and the van was finally pulling to a stop in front of a large building.

_  
Seoul’s Charter School for the Rich. _

  
The school’s name was engraved on a large marble slab above the main entrance. Just below the name in smaller letters was “A Boy’s Only Charter School.” Off beyond the driveway was a path leading to a large group of dorms. From where the group stood they could make out at least five buildings.

  
Before they were able to take in anymore of their surroundings, the front doors swing open as two strangers came to a stop at the top of the stairs.

  
“Welcome to your new school boys! We’re very happy to welcome you.” The male smiled as he spoke while the strange lady next to him remained with a neutral face. “Shall we begin the tour?”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Total Word Count: 1,288


	19. And So It Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys start their first official day of school. Donghyuck notices a change in one of the boy's. Does their day run as smoothly as they hoped? Or has something thrown them for a loop?

Each boy was given a guide for the tour. The guides would also be their go to for any help for their first week. The tour passed by in a blur. Well students flooded the building for the day the group was sat in the main office. The headmaster wished to discuss any questions the teens may have.

  
Much to the headmasters surprise no one spoke up. Instead the group collectively shook their heads. Without another word they were dismissed. Each made their way to their respective classes. Out of the five seniors only two shared the first two periods together. Renjun and Jeno. Much to both of their annoyance their teacher forced them to introduce themselves. Both went with a simple greeting.

  
“I’m Jeno. I don’t plan on making friends.”

  
“Renjun. Don’t speak to me.”

  
Both boys help icy stares as they looked over their fellow student’s. Most of which looked away or rolled their eyes.

  
“Mr Lee, you can take the seat next to Mr Jeon,” A guy with golden blond hair raised his hand. “Mr Huang, you can sit two seats over in the back room. Mr Moon raise your hand please.” Another student, this one with an undercut, raised his hand. Each made their way to their seats.

  
Much to Renjuns surprise, he spent the first two periods cursing out a few students in his head. You see, back at the hospital he never bat an eye at those who stared at Jeno. Most of the time he would find it funny how nurses would talk about the 18 year old. But at the moment? He wasn’t fond of the students making heart eyes or openly flirting with said teen. It caused a familiar itch to burn under his skin. But he kept his mouth shut and face blank.

  
Jeno on the other hand struggled to keep from snapping at them. It was one thing for girls to flirt like crazy with him. But guys? That was all knew. Before he’d met Jaemin, not a single guy ever paid attention to him. All he wanted was to message his baby and talk to the hotheaded shortie a few seats over. Was that too much to ask for? He found it within reason.

  
But sadly life wasn’t fair.

  
//

  
When lunch rolled around, the group  couldn’t have been any happier. They’d be eating together. Which in reality consisted of students coming up left and right to ask Mark, Jeno, and Jaemin to join their tables. Mark and Jeno had no problem declining. They rather drop dead than leave their friends. Jaemin however, was a different story. It took the whole group in talking him to stay. As well as having his body trapped between his two boyfriends. Jeno’s arm was wrapped tightly around his waist while Renjun held a death grip on his thigh.

  
Jaemin simply giggled before carrying on with his lunch. He loved making them jealous. Even if it got him in trouble. It simply kept everyone on edge and meant he’d receive attention without fault. The other three blocked out the commotion as best to their abilities. Their hour lunch felt like a drag on without an end. Before anyone could slip into madness the bell finally rang. The group quickly stood. The group of seniors bid their two younger friends goodbye before making their way to their next class. Gym.

  
//

  
Gym was hell. If Donghyuck could skip then he would’ve in a heartbeat. Both him and Renjun were sat on the bleachers as the other students crowded around their friends. They had just finished playing basketball with ten minutes left of class. Mark had been swarmed first among the three. Donghyuck did have to give the elder boy credit for his skills. Mark had managed to score the most points out of his team. But it didn’t mean he happily accepted the attention the other received. He was forced to fight off the urge to intervene. He wasn’t one to make a scene after all.

  
However, when he glanced to his right, he could see a deep set frown on Renjuns face. He also noted how his fists were tightly clenched, knuckles a bright white, as he stared at the crowd. Donghyuck released a sigh.

  
“We’ve been here half a day and they already have a crowd.”

  
“They fit the popular crowd. Tall, handsome, talented. They have it all.” Renjun didn’t move as he spoke. If anything his anger all seemed to grow. 

  
“Well they don’t need the popular crowd. It’ll only get to their heads. Especially a certain Na Jaemin.”

  
“Keep your opinion to yourself Lee.” This time Renjun turned his head to look at the younger. “If anything Jeno will put an end to the fame getting to his head, “His voice grew softer as he spoke. “It’s one of the things that make him special.”

  
“Did you say something?” Donghyuck raised a brow.

  
“Go claim your man before someone else does.” With that Renjun stood and rushed to the locker room. Donghyuck threw his head back as he laughed.

  
“You can’t hide your feelings forever Huang. It’ll bite you in the ass at some point.” His laughter died out rather quickly as he slowly stood. He was trying to decide on whether or not to approach the others or to just follow the petite male. He went with option two in the end. Without looking back he slipped past the rowdy students and into the locker room. Neither teen spoke as they changed. Before anyone else entered the locker room, the two made quick and left. Unfortunately both would be forced to share their last three classes together.

  
//

  
As the finale bell rang for the day, Chenle didn’t waste a second in booking it from the class. As much as he loved to sit and be bored to death about verbs, adjectives, and then some, he was looking forward to spending time lounging around his and Jisungs new room. He hoped there wouldn’t be too much to unpack when they got home. Speaking of the sophomore, Chenle flung his arm around the other’s shoulders as he caught up to him in the hall.

  
“So Sungie, we walking home?” Jisung shrugged as he pushed the front doors open.

  
“Mark said we had to all meet up at the gate.” Chenle sighed. He just wanted to go home. Not have a sudden meeting of sorts.

  
“Okay…” With a frown on his face, the duo made their way over to the main gate. To their surprise everyone minus Jaemin were already at the meeting spot. As they got closer a chorus of “Hellos,” and “Took you long enough!” reached their ears. The older blond just laughed before running the rest of the way. Jisung opted to speed walk.

  
“Where’s Jaemin?” Jisung looked towards the students flooding from the entrance.

  
“We haven’t seen him since gym.” Donghyuck shrugged as he pointed towards himself and Renjun.

  
“Jeno?” Renjun turned towards said boy.

  
“He bolted from last period right as the bell rang. I couldn’t find him among the students.” Jeno sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. “Figured he’d show up here sooner or later but guess I was wrong.”

  
“Don’t be hard on yourself Jen.” Mark commented as he patted the tallers back. “Probably just wanted to explore or something.”

  
“Could always call him.” Jisung suggested as he turned back towards the group.

  
“Me and Ren already tried.” Jeno shook the few loose hairs from his eyes. If anyone in the group, especially Renjun, noticed the sudden nickname or shift in closeness, they didn’t act on it.

  
As time ticked on the group was slowly growing more worried. Jaemin hadn’t responded to any of their messages or calls. School had ended nearly twenty minutes ago. Yet there was still no sign of the teen. Just when they were about to call a quits, a group of five males made their way towards them. None of which caught any of the boy’s attention. Well at least all but one. A few mumbles echoed among the group.

  
“Na Jaemin, where the hell have you been? We’ve been waiting for you.” Much to their surprise it wasn’t Jeno nor Renjun who spoke. But the youngest of them.

  
“Chill Jisung. I was just making friends.”  Jaemin smiled widely at the teens behind him.

  
“There’s this thing called messaging or calling. Instead of just taking off you could’ve told us. We wouldn’t have waited.” Jeno turned away as he spoke. He didn’t wait for anyone to follow. Renjun inhaled sharply before following the younger. Jaemin frowned before looking at the others.

  
“What’s their problem?” The other’s merely turned away and began the walk home. Jaemin clenched his jaw before tightening his grip on his bag. “Rude much?” He huffed as he tried to catch up with the others.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Noren seemed thrown in at random but It won't seem like that for long. I just really wanted to start hinting something between them but it became a mixed spur of the moment while writing this chapter. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Total Word Count: 1,480


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